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That’s what he’s telling me. That’s what he’s showing me.
“So good,” he praises. “You ride me so good. And fuck, you are so goddamn beautiful as you do it.”
I shake my head and close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him and pick up my pace. I start to bounce so I can take his cock deeper while I force myself to think of him as nothing more than a vehicle to get me off.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Georgia,” he says, and I gasp, biting into my lip as a flare of emotion swells up within me. “I’m so fucking sorry. I never ever wanted to do that to you, and I was wrong, so fucking wrong for how I treated you and the things I did.”
“Shut up, Lenox!” I scream, but I’m also starting to cry, and I can’t stand it. His apology when he’s inside of me is too much. I twist my body until I’m in a reverse cowgirl, and my back is to him and his stupid, fucktastic piercings are rubbing against my G-spot.
Only that’s not good enough for him. He sits up, his chest pressing to my back, his mouth by my ear. One hand goes to my clit, rubbing it, helping me along, and his other bands around my body, cradling me to him.
“I didn’t deserve you,” he hums into my ear. “I knew it then. I knew it all along, but I didn’t know how to give you up. I couldn’t make myself walk away. I wanted you like nothing and no one else, Georgia, but I was too broken to be any good to you.”
My heart clenches, stealing my breath and making my eyes burn with more tears. “Please stop. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t fucking want to hear it.”
He kisses my neck and finally, mercifully, falls silent. He rubs my clit as I impale myself on him over and over, going as deep as I can go, rocking forward and backward, but I’m struggling. His apology is killing me, and I want to come, and I want to hate him, and I want to stay mad, but I’m struggling so hard with it that my orgasm won’t come.
Lenox feels it too. A point he proves as he pushes me forward and smacks my ass before grabbing my hip and slamming me down harder on him until I moan. “That’s it. Do you like that? Do you want me to make you come?”
Bastard. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Be a good little slut and spread your legs wider for me. I want to feel all of you.”
Fuck. Just fuck. He fucking knows that gets me hot. I spread my thighs wider and fall forward, planting my hands on the end of the bed.
“That’s so goddamn hot. The way your ass moves as you bounce on me. How your slick cunt takes my cock. Keep going. You’re not to stop until you come.”
His barbells rub the front wall of my pussy, and my eyes close, losing myself in the sensation of his fingers on my clit and his cock filling me up in all the right ways. He smacks my ass once, twice, and then I finally come. Hard. So hard I nearly fall off the bed, but Lenox swoops his hand around my waist and holds me as he starts to pound into me, fucking me through it as I shake and moan.
And just when I finished, but before I allow myself to sag, I tear myself off him, spin around, and squeeze around the wet head of his cock, strangling his orgasm and not allowing him to come.
“Fucking Christ, Georgia!” he bellows, falling back on the bed and tossing his forearm over his eyes, his face pinching up in agony. He doesn’t try to fight me, and he doesn’t push me off. He takes it because he knows he deserves it, and worse. He’s panting and wheezing and shaking, but when I think I’ve stopped it, I hop off the bed, grab him by his arm, and tug as hard as I can.
“Out. I need a shower, and then you’re driving me into town.”
He’s sweating, his face is beet red, and his cock is rock hard and angry-looking. The tip is leaking like I’ve never seen before. But he’s smiling. Somehow, he’s smiling at me. Standing, he groans, ambling like a man in pain toward the door, but before he gets there, he swoops in and steals a kiss.
I shake my head, shoving him out the door and locking it behind him.
“And no making yourself come.”
He laughs like I’m crazy, which maybe I am. I bite my smile. I’ve never considered myself a sadist, but that was liberating. And ruining. His apology…
My smile instantly slips, and a shudder racks through me. What he’s doing… this game he’s playing with me… it’s a tempting time bomb. It’s a brewing storm hellbent on destruction and utter ruination.
Then again, he didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. He wanted me. I already knew that. We were messing around for two years, and you don’t continue something like that for that long unless you physically want the person. He didn’t love me, and he was definitely still using me—he didn’t claim otherwise—but he didn’t mean to break my heart, and he didn’t mean to hurt me. Fine.
I can live with that.
Or not because I’m not here for the long run.
I don’t have to think too deeply about this. It’s an apology for the past and nothing more.
After hopping in the shower, I wash myself quickly and then change into leggings and a loose one-shoulder sweater. I was going to check out the yoga studio, but I think a class will have to wait for another day. With how shaky my limbs are, I doubt I could even manage child’s pose right now.
By the time I come downstairs, Lenox is already there, leaning against the counter, his glasses on—I’m a wild sucker for him in those glasses—reading something on a tablet. Alice comes prancing over to greet me, nuzzling against my leg, and I crouch down to give her rubs and head snuggles.
Alice is such a love, so sweet and affectionate. So very different from her person.
