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“Stage three.”
She squeezes my hand, and even though I shouldn’t, even though I know better, I twist my wrist, intertwine our fingers, and accept the comfort she’s giving me because, quite frankly, I fucking need it. Some days I’m treading water, getting through, and surviving. And then some days, some nights, I’m drowning under the weight of everything, unable to shake it off as it holds me under.
Back in Minnesota, I had a wife and a best friend. Here, I’m alone with no one to unburden myself with. My mother doesn’t need my mental bullshit. She has enough of her own to manage.
“Is that why you said your life isn’t so great right now when I rudely asked?”
“That’s part of it.”
“I heard a rumor about you.”
“Oh?” My heart stops dead in my chest, and my hand tenses against hers. “What was that?”
She gnaws on her lip like she’s regretting bringing it up. “Maybe I shouldn’t say.”
“Tell me or I’ll put you on scut for a week.”
She laughs. “You are a bit of a jerk. That was one of the rumors, though I didn’t believe it until now. Fine, I’ll tell you, but you can’t hold this against me either.”
I squeeze her hand again. “Promise. That’s our thing now.” I like that I have a thing with her.
“I heard you were forced to resign from Mayo.”
I wait. I watch. Nothing else. “That’s it?”
She nods.
“You didn’t hear why?”
A headshake.
Well, that’s a relief. “Yes, I was asked to resign from Mayo.”
Her eyes narrow. “You won’t tell me why?”
“Not right now.” Because I don’t want you to look at me differently than you currently do.
“Fine. I’ll let it drop. But only because your mom got hurt. Is she upstairs or in the emergency room now? Is that why you’re down here?”
I swallow past the thickness in my throat, silently loving how good her hand feels against mine. Warm and soft and small and perfect. “Yes. She got up in the middle of the night, felt dizzy, fell, and hit her head. Her night watch detected the incident and called nine-one-one when she didn’t respond, and when she woke up in the ambulance, she had them call me.”
“Her night watch?” Her brows pinch in.
“She has two Apple Watches. One she wears during the day and charges at night and one she wears at night that charges during the day. I don’t live with her, and she lives alone, so I want her to always have a way of calling for help if she needs it. Which she obviously did, so I’m glad I forced her to do it.”
“Smart man thinking of that. Is she doing okay?”
My lips form a flat line. “Yes. She’s awake and giving the nurses and doctors hell. She has a nasty laceration on her forehead and a minor concussion. They admitted her for observation and to rehydrate her. She kicked me out and told me to go home and get some rest, but…” I trail off.
“You couldn’t go home with her here,” she finishes for me as if she understands exactly.
“Yeah.”
We fall into silence, just sitting here, holding hands, and looking at each other. It’s the nicest thing I’ve had in a very long time. Only Katy isn’t mine to have a moment like this with. She’s not mine to look at the way I am or think about the way I do.
I pull my hand away, but as I do, something occurs to me. “You don’t wear a ring.”
She tilts her head, studying me in confusion. “Huh? What ring?”
