AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“A donor is like a contract in a way,” Layla offers. “You sign papers, and there are laws surrounding it. It’s different in that it would be entirely on your terms that way. This way brings someone else in who will have their own set of ideas on parenting and desires for the child.”
“Yes. There’s that too.” My elbow digs into my thigh, and I rest my forehead in my hand, putting my phone on speaker and setting it on the bed beside me.
“Let’s start small,” Callan suggests. “Is he a good man? A man worthy and deserving of you and your babies? Is he the sort of man you’d pick as a donor and would feel comfortable having continuously be in your child’s life?”
Shit. “That’s not small, Uncle Cal.”
He chuckles. “Fine. Maybe not. But it might be the most important part of this.”
That question knocks me sideways if for no other reason than the answer that immediately hits my brain. “Yes. He is.” I blow out a breath. “At least I think he is. I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, at least not in a while, but when I knew him back when I was a student, he was, and even now, I’ve seen him nearly every day for the last couple of weeks or so, and yeah, he is. I think he married a nasty bitch of a woman and chose the wrong best friend. I think he’s had a seriously bad run of things. But I think he’s a good man at his core. Wes believed the same, otherwise he wouldn’t have brought him in as chief. I think he’s like you, Uncle Cal.”
And now my tears start coming because I think about when I was six years old and I came to live here. My uncle did everything—including risking his entire world and making Layla his fake fiancée—all for me. All so I could stay with him and not be taken from his custody. All because I was his sole priority and he loved me.
Would Bennett be that kind of dad? The one to risk everything in his life for his child? Isn’t that what he’s already doing by asking this of me?
“Katy, I think the question you have to ask yourself is, do you want a father to your child, or do you want to be the sole parent?” Layla’s voice rings through my turbulent thoughts. “There is no wrong answer, and you know you have a network of us to help you with the child no matter what. You’re not in this alone. But do you want your child to have a dad? If it’s not necessary, then you don’t need to risk all that comes with doing this with a man like Bennett. If you do want that, then maybe the risk is worth the means.”
I flop back onto my bed, my feet still on the floor, my forearm across my forehead, and my eyes on the ceiling. “How will I know the right choice? You do understand I could be risking my fellowship for a multitude of reasons despite a contract and promises. I don’t want to give up my career, but I don’t want to give up on having a baby either, and I’m not sure what my window is past now to do that. Could be months, could be years.”
“True,” Callan agrees. “You don’t know. But you don’t need Bennett for this. He needs you.”
“I know,” I say thoughtfully.
“I took a chance that risked my career. Layla was my medical student, and I made her my fake fiancée anyway. You were worth it, Katy, and I could never have done it without Layla. She was so important to both of us. But I fell in love with her. Hell, I was halfway there before we even started with the fake stuff. So if that’s truly not what you want, you either have to be in the mental headspace where he is a father to your child and nothing more. Or you do this without him, and he’ll have to deal.”
“Okay,” I murmur, my voice absent, lost.
“When your uncle asked me to move in and be his fake fiancée, I got drunk at Stella’s bar and forced Amelia, Octavia, and Stella there. They helped me work out if being fake engaged to your uncle—when it was all for him with nothing for me—was the right choice. Sometimes our people help us through it. But, Katy, in my heart and in my head, I knew it was the right choice before I dragged them along. I just needed people I trusted and loved to validate my thoughts and feelings, or at the very least listen to them. That’s what you’re doing now, which is great, but you don’t have to rush into anything. You can take days, weeks, or even months to figure out what feels right for you.”
“I know,” I utter, feeling like I’m on repeat. “But the truth is, I don’t want to wait weeks or even months. I was ready to start this before Bennett threw me a curveball.”
“Then my best advice is to follow your heart and have faith that everything else will work out because you will do whatever it takes to make that happen. I followed my heart, and it brought me you.”
Fuck. “Bitch,” I sob, and she laughs, hearing the tears in my voice. “I love you.”
“I love you too. It’ll be okay, Katy. It will be. You know the right choice. But that doesn’t always make it the easiest. The right choice is often the hardest to make.”
“Thank you.” I clear my throat. “I needed this so much. Now go back to sleep,” I tell them, sniffling like crazy until I drag myself up and snatch a tissue from the box on my nightstand to wipe my nose. “And thank you for always being there for me.”
“No matter what,” Callan promises.
I hang up with them and stare up at the ceiling for hours. Crying. Laughing. Shaking my head. Speaking in gibberish because I’m not always so rational when my life gets complicated. I can walk into surgery and be five steps ahead, but when it comes to the personal stuff, I flounder. I don’t always trust my gut or my instincts the way I do in the OR.
Maybe that’s because of what Zane did to me, or maybe that’s why I trusted him in the first place. I have to remember that there are the Zanes of the world, and then there are the Callans, Owens, and Vanders. I need to take myself out of the equation and focus on the baby.
Do I want my baby to have a dad, and do I want that dad to be Bennett?
But come 4:00 a.m., I’m still without sleep, still unsure what to do. The only thing I know is—oh shit. I bolt upright, hit with a dawning realization. One that almost feels too well-timed—almost like fate—to ignore.
Chapter Twelve
It’s not even dawn when I show up on his doorstep, my mind racing yet somehow determined. I’m letting Layla’s words be my guiding force. I feel like my body—and not my heart—are going to drive this train, and I think that’s the right way to take it. She said I’d know in my gut the right call, and I feel like I do.
At least I hope I do.
Fuck, my gut’s been a stupid bitch in the past, allowing me to fall for Zane.
You’re saying he’s willing to risk his new job, possibly the only one he can get with a history like that and no reference coming from Mayo to have a baby with you?
