AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Twenty-Two
One week and two days post-Colby, and I was still finding it difficult to resist calling him just to hear his voice. I missed him terribly. But Mark was right; it helped to remain busy and make plans. I saw it as a challenge for myself. How the hell could I ever expect for the man I love to deal with his insecurities if I didn’t meet mine head on?
Smiling at my brother, who had finished loading the last of my boxes into my newly rented storage unit, I felt as though I was finally taking charge of my future with this first step.
“Come on, let’s return the truck and get lunch. I’m starving,” Brian said, climbing into the driver’s side of the U-Haul.
Across the table at the restaurant, I could feel my brother’s eyes on me. He’d been like that since arriving last night, studying me, waiting for me to bring up the very subject that I’d avoided anytime I’d talked to him or anyone else over the last few days.
“Spit it out, Brian. You’re sitting there watching me as though I’m some sort of lab rat who may have a mental breakdown at any moment. It’s kind of disconcerting.”
He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “I went to see Colby yesterday, before I came over. We went out for a beer and talked.”
Brian had insisted on flying in to help me move out of my apartment, and I’d wondered if he might take the opportunity to speak with Colby. “That’s nice.” I tried to keep my tone light to avoid revealing how desperate I was for information.
“Come on, Kenzie, you can act cool and unaffected with everyone else, but please don’t do it with me.”
I leaned forward, putting my elbows on the table like an insolent teenager. “Fine. How did it go?”
“He didn’t want my apology, but I gave it to him anyhow. Not only for my reaction in Vegas, but for underestimating him. I think in the end he started to believe me.”
“Good.” I was happy that my brother had apologized and they were getting along. The last thing I wanted was a permanent rift between them. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if he’d inquired about me, yet I refrained. Barely.
“And since you won’t ask, I’ll tell you: he looks like shit and asked how you were doing. Christ, he lit up like a Christmas tree when I told him your audition was tomorrow. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. But now that I do, I realize that he’s always gone out of his way to treat you differently than any other woman. I guess I assumed it was because you were my baby sister, but now I appreciate it’s because you two had this connection all along.”
Hearing that statement, realizing all of it was in the past tense, stole my breath for a moment. Whoever said a broken heart didn’t physically hurt clearly hadn’t been in love because my chest felt like it had a thousand pound weight on it.
“You didn’t tell him anything else, did you?” It might sound selfish, but the last thing I wanted was for Colby to get a fix about what was happening in my life—especially if he wasn’t participating in it. If I had to go on a strict no-Colby diet, then he had to do the same with me.
Brian shook his head. “Nope. If he wants to know more, he can call you. And I hate to bring this up, but at the very least, you two need to figure out what you’re doing about the baptism this weekend.”
Right. The baptism of Josh and Haylee’s baby girl back home in Virginia. Regardless, I was flying in to deal with my own shit. But I wondered how Colby felt about the prospect of me being part of his niece’s special day, considering we hadn’t spoken in over a week.
Of course we’d made this bed, understanding if it didn’t work out we’d have to deal with the repercussions of future family and friend events. So now we’d have to figure out how to lie in it. Great. Now I had an image of lying in bed with Colby.
“Maybe you could go talk with him?” Brian offered. “It’s pretty clear the man is beyond miserable.”
I played with the straw in my water glass. “I can’t be the one that does that this time. And before you ask, it’s not a pride thing as much as a self-preservation thing. He knows how I feel about him. Hell, he’s always known and for once, he has to be the one to step up. I need to feel like I’m worth the effort. Most of all, he has to figure out how to reconcile his past and leave it there. I can’t do that for him.”
He nodded, looking proud of my stance. “I can only hope my apology may have helped. I’m guessing the big talk with Mom is this week, too?”
“On Thursday.”
“Jesus. Audition tomorrow, talk with Mom the next day, and seeing Colby this Sunday. Rough week.”
“Yep. I’m calling it my own personal Fear Factor or maybe it could be dubbed Survivor.”
“Do you want me to go with you to talk to Mom?”
“No, but thanks for offering. I’m honestly less anxious and more resigned to getting it over with. It won’t go well; but, it’ll be okay when it doesn’t.”
“So if this audition turns out, what would that mean?”
Now it was time to tell Brian the newest addition to my plan. “They said it could be weeks until they make a final decision, so in the meantime I’m traveling to Bali on that volunteer trip. Mark checked it out, and it’s legitimate.”
Both his brows lifted in surprise. He seemed to wrestle with his response, measuring his words carefully. “I feel like my comments in Vegas about you putting off plans for Colby may have pushed you into this.”
“I prefer to think that, with or without him, I’d be doing this eventually. Although going now gives me a means to get away from it all, if you know what I mean.”
