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And I was in a dress. Wearing sandals, not boots. My hair was styled like a human’s, and my lips and eyes were painted in a manner I’d seen in my new magazine.
And I loved it far more than I should when I presented my throat so he could wrap a chain around my neck. When the clasp was closed, I pressed the crystal against my breastbone as if I might make it merge with me and stay forever.
“I never imagined I’d see you so giddy,” Cyderial teased.
He could make fun of me all he wanted. This gift meant a great deal to me—so much so that I had the oddest desire to cry.
Oh my God, I was crying.
That was what damaged psyches did when they were overwhelmed with simple things. Like forbidden, beautiful presents.
It was just a necklace, but if he tried to take it away, I would harm him.
His fingers were gentle atop my fist. “It’s yours to keep, Lorieyn. You don’t need to grip it like that.”
My behavior was completely ridiculous; a rational corner of my brain knew that. I was even embarrassed and knew I was blushing something fierce.
“Do you want to see what it looks like on you?”
I did, but my fist was not getting the message to let go. I wanted to be a normal, healthy person who could function properly, but my entire fucking world had been tilted on its axis, and my brain was refusing.
Still, he urged me toward a mirror, where he stood like a comforting beast at my back. Red dress, upswept hair, skin glittering when the light hit a random iridescent scale.
Brown eyes just like my mother’s.
Clenched fist around a tiny gold chain.
The place where he bit me earlier still bore a faint wound, one that would be faded by the end of the night. Something about that inspired regret.
Gently prying my fingers loose, he said, “Let go now. Take a look. See how it suits you.”
Wrapping my arms below my breasts, I hugged them close and stared at the glittering gem.
Everything about it, I loved. How it had been cut and polished to catch the light. The size of it surrounded in smaller sparkly stones. That it was dainty but still had weight.
In the academy, I would have spent hours just staring at it in my room, just as I spent years of my life staring at the pink geode I had stolen from Cyderial so long ago.
Wiping my cheeks, I said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now.”
He did. “You have needs that could not be met before we were mated. It is less strange than you might imagine to behave this way.”
Basically, he had broken me and now intended to put me back together with pretty rocks, good food, sex, and soft clothing. My sisters… they too would struggle under such an onslaught. The cold, sad truth was that recruits who survived the academy were seriously damaged.
He knew it. Everyone who was going to meet me that evening knew it.
In their turn, they had all been damaged too.
“I like the necklace.” It had to be said, in case he thought to take it away.
Strong arms came around mine, and he hugged me. “I know you do.”
8
Soft voices drifted about the courtyard, a bubbling fountain dominating the center of the pretty communal space.
Tables dotted the open area, lights strung up to twinkle in the darkness above. There was laughter and… what I could only assume was dancing.
The strangeness of females with swollen bellies speaking freely to males, the oddity of males touching the women. Fingers at their elbows, a light stroke on the shoulder. Innocent exchanges that would have seen a young man murdered at the academy.
