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“You figured it out!” She cackled, patting her own bump. “We all do, don’t we, girls?”
That sent the women at the table laughing, several murmuring to one another in voices too low for me to hear.
I didn’t find it amusing at all. “You expect me to fall in line and submit; you made that very clear. But he was not happy that you told me about the arena yet failed to guide me with any useful female knowledge.”
“Sweetheart, no one expects you to fall in line. I am just trying to save you years wasted on regret. You didn’t want him, but you have him now.” She looked around at the women gathered, a collection of mated hybrids of standing, and said, “There is enough wisdom at this table to assure you there is no escaping the inevitable. I really am trying to help you.”
Perhaps to a point, but I had the very real sense she was trying to wield some control over Cyderial through me. Ultimately, she had an agenda. So did I.
And I was shameless. “Good, because I need your help.”
I had her attention, her interest, and her smile as she sat back and waited to hear what so young a female might want. “Do tell.”
A deep breath expanded my ribcage, my back as straight as my belly might allow. “It is a horrible thing, keeping females in the dark. Purposefully sustaining our ignorance about our bodies, the addiction, and a male’s ability to manipulate our senses. We have a right to know what they intend to do with us. Unmated females should be taught about sex. You can help me convince the men.”
She gave a low whistle. “The way the world is now, it is not safe for unmated females. Some humans are depraved and dream of opening a hybrid girl. Many hybrid males cannot control their urges, even without a song to draw them in. Those who can—” Her eyes went past me to where the general had been standing at the bar. “—have no reason to cede knowledge when they gain nothing from it.”
I sat taller, wishing I felt more confident. “Cyderial promised to support me.”
Surprise was open on the faces of many of the woman gathered around me, but not on Miranda’s. A chilling question on her lips, she leaned forward. “I wonder why he would want to change something that no longer directly affects his mate?”
Because it was what I wanted, and I was right.
But… it didn’t matter if I was right, did it?
And there were many things I wanted that he was more than happy to deny me.
Such as the fog.
A heart-shaped face and short, bouncing brunette curls, the woman in the seat at my side introduced herself. “I’m Valentyna. Mate to that one.” She pointed to one of the males who approached to converse with Cyderial. A Cyderial who had yet to break his gaze away from me, I found when I turned around to see who she gestured to. “Commander Silva. Our mates are practically brothers.”
The concept of Cyderial having close friends felt so odd that I had no idea how to reply beyond, “It’s nice to meet you.”
Valentyna gave me a smile. “Is it true he waited ten years to claim you? He let you grow into adulthood?”
Nodding, I agreed, “Yes. I met him when I was twelve.”
As if Valentyna were half in love with him herself, she gave him a longing stare. “I was fourteen when my mate claimed me. Other women at this table were taken even younger. Unmated girls are now locked away under armed guard, and still, it isn’t enough. The most determined brutes find a way.”
Another female, who looked an awful lot like Maeve, whispered, “I was opened and raped in a closet at the academy by a Watcher forty years ago. He kept his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet, but I couldn’t breathe. I still have nightmares while I’m sleeping in the arms of the man who did that to me. The saddest part is, there are far worse stories than mine.”
A communal melancholy descended over the group, each woman at the table remembering a moment of their own dark history.
Staring down at my drink, I muttered, “I know now that he was careful with me, but I was still terrified. When it started, I was so confused. None of it was expected nor encouraged. He wouldn’t stop…” The heart of my grief lay in the following confession. “And now I know it was my fault things at the academy were so awful. The punishments are extreme; boys can be hung for looking at a female too long. My song made Cyderial insane for ten years, and everyone suffered for it.”
“You are giving yourself far too much credit,” Miranda interjected, gentle enough, and she reached to pat my hand. “The man you are mated to isn’t the average hybrid male. Were our world different, he would be our king. Your song may have caused him to suffer as he practiced restraint—because he could have mated you any time he wished—but I assure you, every choice he made in your keeping and in the care of the recruits, he did so fully aware of the long-term consequences of his actions. You are not responsible for any of it.”
Miranda’s history was her own, but mine was ugly and unnecessary. “He’s murdered children.”
“It isn’t that simple, and you know it,” she said, urging me to pay attention. “Grieve them; that is noble. But do it with your eyes open. We are walking a knife’s edge of existence, and it is his duty to keep you alive. As a general, it is his duty to keep us all alive. Young as you are, you cannot image what he is up against.”
I still could see the redheaded boy’s face when the Watchers descended upon our hiding place. That terror he’d known, I would never forget. “It’s a pity he didn’t mate you, Miranda. You’re just as ruthless as he is.”
She grinned, and in a face so lovely, it was truly a hideous thing. “I think God had a hand in delivering you right to his feet, ruthless as I may be. You suit him, and you’re using the freedom he is allowing you, not to seek pleasure and play, but to come here, barely more than a child, in an attempt to convince powerful hybrids to go against their best interests so your sisters may not suffer as we did. I’m too jaded to even remember what idealism may have felt like.”
Then it would be my job to remind her. “Is it against their best interests if their mates are happy? If their females are loving and feel safe?”
Cocking a brow, Miranda asked, “Are you loving? Do you love General Cyderial? Has he benefited from this experiment at all?”
