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But I shove that thought away, determined to enjoy this time with my two of my favorite people. We make our way to the living room, Oscar chattering excitedly as he sets up the game mat.
"Left hand red!" Oscar announces gleefully after spinning the wheel.
We all comply, bending and stretching to reach our circles. It doesn't take long before we're a tangled mess of limbs, giggling breathlessly as we try to maintain our balance.
"Right foot yellow," Gabriel grunts, his face inches from mine as he arches over me to reach his dot. His breath fans across my cheek and I fight back a shiver, my skin prickling with awareness.
"Careful there, mister," I tease, trying to ignore the way my heart stutters at his proximity. "No cheating allowed!"
Gabriel flashes me a playful grin, his green eyes sparkling with mirth. "Wouldn't dream of it. I'm just naturally flexible."
I snort out a laugh, nearly losing my balance in the process. "Is that so? Well, let's see how flexible you are when I do... this!"
I bump my hip against his, trying to knock him off balance. He wobbles precariously for a moment before righting himself, his low chuckle sending warmth coursing through my veins.
"Oh, it's on now," he growls, retaliating with a gentle nudge of his own. "Two can play at that game!"
We dissolve into laughter, our competitive sides coming out as we try to one-up each other. Oscar eggs us on from his spot on the mat, his face split in a wide, delighted grin.
"Go Harper! No, go Gabriel! Wait, no... go, both of you!"
His enthusiasm is infectious and soon we're all laughing so hard we can barely keep our positions. It's the simple happiness I've always yearned for.
"Left foot blue!" Oscar calls out, still giggling.
I stretch my leg out, trying to reach the blue dot. But my sock slips on the plastic mat and I go down in a tangle of limbs, pulling Gabriel with me. We land in a breathless heap, his solid weight pressing me onto the floor.
For a while, we just stare at each other, caught in the unexpected intimacy of the moment. His eyes are soft and warm, his smile tender as he reaches out to brush a strand of hair from my forehead.
"You okay there, klutz?" he murmurs, his voice low and teasing.
I stick my tongue out at him, trying to ignore the way my heart is pounding. "I meant to do that. It's called strategic losing."
"Is that what we're calling it now?" He grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the way I adore. "Guess that means Oscar wins by default."
"Yes!" Oscar pumps his fist in the air, his face flushed with excitement. "I'm the Twister champion!"
Gabriel levers himself up and off me, holding out a hand to help me to my feet. I take it, trying not to dwell on how perfectly our palms fit together, how right it feels to have his fingers laced with mine.
"What do you say, champ?" Gabriel asks, slinging an arm around Oscar's shoulders. "Ready for round two?"
Oscar nods eagerly, already scrambling to reset the game board. "You bet! But no more strategic losing, okay Harper?"
I hold up my hands in mock surrender, fighting back a grin. "Scout's honor, little bro. This time I'm playing to win!"
Gabriel shoots me a wink, his expression playful and full of warmth. "Bring it on. Loser makes hot cocoa after?"
"Oh, you are so on." I rub my hands together in anticipation, feeling lighter than I have in weeks.
This. This is what I want to hold on to. These perfect, shining moments of laughter and love, of feeling like we truly belong to each other. Even if it's not in the way my heart longs for, even if I have to content myself with friendship instead of passion...it's enough.
So I let myself get swept up in the game, in the easy affection and playful trash talk. I let myself savor every smile, every casual touch and shared joke. And for a little while, I let myself forget about contracts and rules, about the impossible yearnings of my foolish heart.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Harper
I SIT AT a corner table in Amalia's Place, nervously fiddling with the straw in my untouched iced tea. The trendy downtown pub is bustling with the usual Friday night crowd, but I barely notice the chatter and laughter surrounding me. My mind is a million miles away, lost in a haze of fear and uncertainty.
