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“Because you’re all always so perfect!” The words rip out of my soul with the force of a gunshot.
All three of my brothers jerk back in surprise and blink at me.
My chest is suddenly heaving. Raking my fingers through my hair yet again, I force oxygen into my lungs. Then I have to force myself to let my hands drop back down. I clench my fingers into fists.
“You’re exactly the sons that Dad wanted,” I say, holding their stunned stares. “The legacy that Dad wanted. And I… I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a hitman. So I started self-destructing. With the fights and the alcohol and the sex. Anything to take my mind off it. Which just made him even more disappointed in me. Made him see me even more as a failure. And you…” I slash my hand through the air, motioning at all of them. Desperation leaks into my voice. “I didn’t want you to see me as a weak pathetic failure too.”
The silence that descends on the kitchen is so loud that I can hear it ringing in my ears.
Outside the windows, the sun has crested the rows of buildings along the street. Pale morning light filters into the room, creating patterns on the dark wooden walls.
My brothers just stare at me for another three heartbeats.
Then Eli shatters the silence like a smashed mirror. “You fucking moron.”
Embarrassment crashes through me, and I start to turn away. His hand shoots out. Grabbing me by the arm, he turns me back towards them.
“I’m serious,” he says, anger and disbelief pulsing from every word. “How the fuck do you not know?”
All I can do is to just hold his stare. Waiting for whatever cutting remark is about to pass his lips.
His eyes are dead serious as he stares me down. “We’ve never considered you a failure.”
“And we sure as hell have never thought you were weak,” Rico adds.
I draw back, stunned, and glance between the three of them. Eli finally releases my arm and instead rakes both hands through his hair and shakes his head as if he can’t believe my stupidity. And Kaden has even stopped spinning his knife. It’s now back in its sheath as he holds my gaze from the other side of the island.
“Why do you think we give you so much shit all the time?” Kaden asks, his eyes boring into mine.
“Because I’m your annoying little brother who is always too loud and too careless and too restless and too much of a fucking screw-up?” I reply.
“Because you’re the best of us,” Kaden says, his voice dead serious.
“You always have been,” Eli adds.
Rico lets out a soft chuckle. “We’re all fifty shades of fucked up. But you’ve somehow still managed to remain exactly who you are. A fucking ball of sunshine who carries the rest of us. After what happened with my parents, you, with your easy smiles and your insane ability to make the world feel lighter, were sometimes the only thing that kept me breathing. That kept me from being crushed underneath the weight of it all.”
My throat starts to close up, and I swallow, not sure what to say.
Rico gives me a small smile. “It’s the real reason we started calling you Golden.”
My heart suddenly feels like it’s both bursting and squeezing hard at the same time. I drag in an unsteady breath, trying yet again to swallow against the thickness in my throat.
“You’ve always had our backs,” Eli says, his gaze steady on mine. “And we have yours. Against everyone.”
Kaden gives me a faint smile that almost seems a little sad. “All you had to do was say the word.”
Before I can make my brain work properly, Eli pulls up his phone and abruptly hits dial. The sound of the line ringing fills the silent room as he puts the call on speaker before placing the phone on the kitchen island between the four of us.
After three signals, someone answers.
“Eli, is something wrong?”
My heart jerks in my chest as I recognize the voice. Jonathan Hunter. Our father.
“Yeah, something’s wrong,” Eli replies.
“Tell me.”
