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(ELLE)
We’ve come full circle.
Me, sitting with Lena and Gran at the kitchen table, sipping cups of hot tea and watching the rain come down outside while I nurse my broken heart.
They’re here for me the same way they always are.
I’m so glad I have them.
I couldn’t handle being alone right now.
Not even after getting out of August’s shirt and scrubbing off his scent so it wouldn’t make me burst into fiery tears all over again.
There is no “we”!
You aren’t a part of this.
You don’t need to intrude, inserting yourself into goddamned everything.
My lips quiver.
I pinch them together hard and take another long, burning sip of my tea.
Orange blossom with honey today.
Comfort tea.
She always knows exactly what I need.
I rub my thumb against the warm ceramic cup and look up at my grandmother with a thousand-pound heart.
“Gran? Do ... do you ever resent looking after me?”
Lena rolls her eyes like it’s the dumbest question she’s ever heard. It probably is, but sometimes I just need to hear it.
Gran reaches over and lays her paper-thin hand over mine gently. “Never, dear. Not once. You’ve brought so much light into my life. You always will.” She squeezes my hand. “Having you here has made my life happier than I can describe.”
“So I wasn’t an intrusion?”
I know I sound like a needy little girl right now.
And I feel like one too.
“No.” She shakes her head firmly. “You were right where you belonged.” Her brows crease with concern. “Is that what he called you? An ‘intrusion’?”
Lena bares her teeth. “Oh God, I really am going to cut his balls off.”
“Now don’t be vulgar, Lena.” Gran purses her lips.
“Nope. Not this time. Not listening. Balls go poof!” She slides her finger across her throat. “Shhk!”
Sighing, Gran says, “Well, I can’t fault your motives, at least. Do use a sharp knife, if you must be so uncivilized.”
“Do I look like an amateur, Grams?” Lena smiles viciously.
I don’t know how they do it, but I’m laughing.
It doesn’t fix the heartbreak, no; it just makes it tolerable for a few minutes.
