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“I just say the things you won’t.” Lena grins unrepentantly.
“The two of you should take your act on the road.” I shake my head, rising with an amused sigh.
“Hey, not a bad idea, huh, Grams?”
“It’s a terrible idea. Those comedy clubs smell, and you’d make me tell rather blue jokes.”
I love them so much.
And that love gives me just enough energy to trudge upstairs, where I plunk down on my bed and stare for a solid minute.
I feel like my entire life has just fallen apart.
I won’t be going to work tomorrow, or seeing August. Or Clara.
Which reminds me of the sketchbook on my nightstand.
I pull it over, slide the pages open, run my fingers over the little Inky doodles.
The new product line to revive the pen pal program. We were planning it all out—stationery, labels, stickers, pen wraps and toppers, erasers and pencils and collectible toys. A young guy in accounting even had a cool pitch for an Inky app.
August promised he’d look into everything.
And that night I’d gone home and curled up and sketched ideas for product designs in a frenzy, too excited to sleep.
But I guess it doesn’t matter now.
Whatever we had is toast, and so is the entire brand.
That lump in my throat rises, so large it nearly chokes me. When I was a little girl and I used to feel this rudderless, I’d write Inky a letter, never knowing it wasn’t Inky answering at all, but Clara Marshall herself.
I wish I could talk to her.
I wish I could understand.
I wish I could tell her I love her nephew, just so someone knows it, even if it’s not August himself.
But now I can’t.
Maybe writing will make me feel better, though, just like it used to.
I turn to a blank page in my sketchbook and curl up against the headboard of my bed.
I snag a pen from my nightstand.
Then, with all my gnarled feelings, I begin to write.
Dear Inky . . .
XXIV
BREAK IN THE CLOUDS
(AUGUST)
I’m almost crawling out of my skin by the time I disembark at Minneapolis–Saint Paul International and plow through the busy terminal to the rental pickup area.
For a last-minute same-day flight, all that was available was a rental van that looks like it should have FREE CANDY painted on the side in creepy serial killer script.
