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Let’s face it, Leilani knew she could never be with a man who entertained himself in that way. It wasn’t just a hobby, he owned Sailors.
“Not a real problem,” she mumbled to herself as she walked into the restaurant the next day and saw her best friend Vanessa waving out to her.
Jacob didn’t want her, and it wasn’t an option.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Leilani said, pulling off her coat.
She wasn’t sorry.
She didn’t want to be here.
She wanted to be back inside her duvet trying to invent a time machine so she could go back to, say, Thursday to leave herself a note.
Do not dance with Jacob.
No, she’d need to be clearer.
Do not kiss Jacob.
Not clear enough.
Do not fuck Jacob and Carter in public at Sailors Club. At the same time.
And enjoy it.
And live in shame forever after.
That should do it.
Amy stood and threw her arms around Leilani. “Hey honey.”
“Woah, you’re big,” she exclaimed. “Not big, round. Jesus. Popped. That’s what you call it, right?”
Damn, she was bad at this.
She didn’t see them enough to be part of all the mommy talk, and when they caught up, she always felt it. The rolled eyes and tsks like she should know.
How?
Or maybe she should know.
She wasn’t sure.
But it didn’t feel nice, and every day felt like the divide between them was getting bigger and bigger.
Amy giggled and rubbed her tummy. “Yes, silly. I’ve popped. But honestly, I love being pregnant.”
“Lucky. Some women hate it, right?” Leilani asked, hugging Vanessa next. “Hey Greg. Donny.”
She sat down as the guys said hello and picked up her menu. Although she knew what she would order. The same thing as always.
They all met on the last Sunday of each month, but occasionally they’d had to skip it. Soon, she imagined, they’d just stop. At least when Amy’s baby arrived.
Instead of dining out, they’d be catching up at kids’ birthday parties with balloons and god-awful clowns. They’d have a two-minute conversation before some child screamed or almost killed itself.
It would be all mom talk, and Leilani would have nothing to contribute.
Much like now.
