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“Friends?” I finally ask.
He nods.
“I could do with a friend right now,” I say, feeling tension seep from my body at the confession.
Don’t Let Me Spiral
I hold up my hair off my shoulders, admiring the dress. The black form-fitting lace is a bit dramatic for a wedding, but I figure if I’m going to go, then I might as well go with some flair. The only blessing in this shotgun wedding is that they’re at least waiting till after Valentine’s Day and it won’t be so cold. Granted, they are short on time with the whole growing belly thing.
Grabbing my phone, I snap a photo, then send it to Nick and Natalie for approval. I change back into my jeans and sweater and leave the rest of the dresses hanging as I make my way to the associate.
She smiles. “That the one then?”
I nod, handing over the garment. “Yeah, I think I just need some small alterations on the straps and waist.”
“Easy enough. Let me log this to your account and grab my tape. I’ll be right back,” she says.
As I’m waiting, I browse the racks of the small boutique. It’s been one of my favorite spots since high school. The place where Natalie and I always get our dresses for special occasions. I’m not surprised when a group of rambunctious girls come in giggling, the doorbell announcing their presence.
When I look up, all their smiles drop as I connect gazes with my sister. My heart skips a beat, a flush burning at my neck and up to my face. I’m not sure if it’s anger or embarrassment, a confliction of feelings swirling in my stomach.
I clear my throat. “I was just leaving soon. So…” Looking away, I wave them toward the center couches where large parties usually gather to watch dresses being tried on and then paraded in the shop.
A few of the girls make their way there, only her oldest friend staying by Amber’s side. She whispers something in her ear, and my sister shakes her head. With one more wary glance at me, she leaves us alone to join the rest of the party.
I raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to say something.
Amber bites her lip, her fingers twisting in front of her. There’s a hesitation in her eyes that prevents me from moving.
The associate greets my sister, telling her she’ll be with her in a moment. She glances between us while taking my measurements, probably confused about why we’re just staring at each other silently. I hand the associate my card when she goes to walk away, and tell her I’ll meet her at the register in a moment.
“Are you sorry?” I finally ask her.
Amber exhales, her body deflating like an uncooked cake. “Kind of.”
Her hand moves to her stomach, and it’s like a shot straight to my chest. I nod, biting my tongue till I taste metallic blood.
“Right. I mean, you won in the end, didn’t you? Got the man, the ring, and now the baby.” I can’t withhold the bitter animosity in my retort.
Amber flinches. “I– just… I didn’t do it because I hated you or anything.”
A laugh barks out of my throat. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No. I guess not,” she says, her eyebrows knitting together.
“Then why are we having this conversation?”
My sister stares at me, eyes watering. “It felt nice, you know? Him flirting with me, him inviting me to places, him giving me gifts. My whole life I was in your shadow, and it was invigorating to have his attention.”
I cross my arms, cocking my head at her. “How were you in my shadow? Mom always gave you the most attention, more than she ever gave Nick or me .”
“Because she didn’t need to,” Amber snaps. “You and Nick were just born perfect. Did everything right without even trying. Why do you think she put me in so many things? Because nothing ever stuck. I failed at everything.”
“So you steal my fiancé?” I don’t care to touch on her other comments. We could debate woe is me regarding our mother every day of the week, and nothing would ever come of it.
Amber shrugs. “It just happened, and then we couldn’t stop.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I shake my head. “You know what? It doesn’t even matter. Because neither of you have ever apologized, and I’m sick of waiting for one. And you know what hurts the most? I would have never done this to either of you.”
