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“For real,” I said, laughing.
He pulled me to him, kissing me gently at first, even tentatively. I didn’t respond for a few seconds, temporarily frozen. I’d never felt the rush of passion and affection that surged from a mere kiss. John had never kissed me with love, I realized now. His touch had been invasive and demanding. Thad was different. Everything was different.
Was this what it was like to be kissed by someone I loved and respected and trusted? If so, I planned on doing a lot more of it.
* * *
Thad and I talked until one in the morning. After I’d confessed to being nervous and without much hope for sleep, Thad had made us another drink and rejoined me on the couch.
He asked me a lot of questions, and I answered them honestly, no longer afraid to tell him too much and bring him into the madness of my life.
I told him more about my childhood with my sweet dad and about Chloe’s birth and his death and how they’d changed me so profoundly.
He shared stories from his past as well, including his earliest memories of the man who would become his stepfather. “At first, I called him Mr. Moon,” Thad said. “Some of my first memories are with him.”
“What about your real father? Do you remember him?”
“I have only one recollection, and it’s not a good one. It was in the barn, and Soren and Rafferty were in trouble about something. Our father made them take off their shirts, and he whipped them with a belt. I don’t think he knew I was in there, because I distinctly remember hiding behind a bale of hay. That’s the only one I’ve got.”
“How sad,” I said, heart aching.
Thad went on to describe what had happened all those years before between his mother and father. Although I knew the story already, I’d never heard it told from Thad’s perspective. “So, all in all, I had it easy compared to the rest of them. Jasper Moon’s been my father for as long as I can remember. Well, almost anyway. He’s been my rock and my role model every step of the way. If I can be half the man he is, I’ll consider myself a success.”
“And your mama? If he’s your rock, then what is she?”
A smile flickered at the corners of his mouth. “Mama’s my heart. She’s that for all of us boys. She knows everything about us, can predict things before we have an inkling of them ourselves, and loves us unconditionally. There’s not anything in the world she wouldn’t do for one of her sons. Knowing I’m loved that much gives me a sense of empowerment, like there’s nothing I can’t do. If I want something, I’ve always believed I could have it if I worked hard and treated people right.”
“Does that include women?” I asked, flushing. Yes, I was digging for more insight into how he felt about me. Was I worth all of this hassle? All this angst?
“With women it’s different.” His gaze searched mine. “I’ve been waiting for a love like Pop and Mama have. That’s the bar. Anything less is not acceptable. I’d rather be alone than settle.”
“You’re wise. I settled—and look what happened to me.”
“There was a child involved, which made your decision different. You did what you thought was best for your baby. My mother did the same thing, you know.”
“I do know.” I dabbed at the corners of my damp eyes with the pad of my thumb.
“I don’t want to scare you off. I really don’t. But I care deeply for you. If you think I’m rushing you, I’ll back off. It’ll be hard, but I also want more than anything for you to be happy.”
“You haven’t scared me off,” I said softly. “But there’s a part of me that still feels undeserving of such a wonderful man in my life. You’re the type of guy every woman would want. I keep wondering what you see in me, especially with all the baggage I bring.”
His eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. “What I see in you? Should I count all your amazing qualities? One by one? Beauty, intelligence, compassion, humor. You’re an incredible mother. I mean, what isn’t there to love about you?”
“Even with all the complications I bring to your life?” I asked.
“There’s not a person on the planet that doesn’t have something they bring in from their past, good or bad. The way I feel about you—it’s unexpected, I’ll give you that. I had no idea I would or could feel this way. I tried to fight it, not because of the questions I had about your past or because of Chloe, but because you live with us and work at the ranch. I tried to convince myself it was all very complicated and risky. But I couldn’t keep it to myself another moment—I had to know if there’s a chance you feel the same way.” He looked up at me, earnest and vulnerable. “You’re part of this family now, whether you want to be or not.”
Family. The back of my throat ached with the effort to keep my tears at bay. Family was all I’d wanted. One of the reasons I’d been attracted to John in the first place was because of his large, involved family. If only I’d known who they really were under the surface. Wealth and power had destroyed any semblance of human decency in every one of them. I’d thought they would be my new family, ease the pain of losing my father, but instead they’d proven to be the opposite. They were not people I should give my trust and loyalty to. Instead, they’d trapped me. However, the Moon family brought me into the fold and looked after Chloe and me, regardless of where we’d come from. Any woman lucky enough to marry one of the Moon brothers gained not only a husband but a loving extended family.
And Thad? He was the essence of the word haven; a soft spot to land and stay. Protector. Friend. Father to Chloe? How could it be that he was right here all this time, and I didn’t even know it? Waiting for me to arrive so that he could offer me a life so good I didn’t even believe it was possible?
“I didn’t think there was a chance for us,” I said softly. “I’ve been terrified for all these months, thinking they would find me at any moment and take Chloe one way or the other.”
“He’s alive, Sammie. You aren’t in danger of going to prison or having Chloe taken from you. We’re sending the bastard to jail instead.”
“I still can’t believe he’s alive. His eyes—I swear they looked dead to me. But I was in shock and not thinking straight, so that may have affected my vision. He must have been well enough to call an ambulance because the gunshot was real.”
* * *
