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My head is full of memories and questions for Zara, but I know I need to focus. Now is not the time to figure out how to proceed forward with her. My brain knows that I should forget about her. I do not need to spend any more time worrying about her and what’s happening in her life. The sound of Ethan coughing alerts me that I’ve spaced out, so I try to focus and pretend I’ve been paying attention to him.
"You didn't have to come," I tell Ethan and Sarah as we enter my grandmother's dining room.
"You practically begged us to come," Ethan says, shaking his head. "I mean, we canceled our trip to Maine."
"I'm joking," I say, grinning at him. “I’m grateful that you’re here. I’ve just been a bit distracted by something.”
"Is everything okay?" Sarah asks me softly, touching me on the arm.
"I'm fine. Why?"
"You've just been acting a little bit weirder than normal. Normally, you're in such a funny, teasing mood. And you haven't been that way. You’ve been so quiet."
"I'm fine. It's just been a crazy week."
"Your dad?" she asks, and I nod, but that's not why I'm feeling so upset and out of it right now. I’ve been thinking about Zara and how she said no when I asked for her phone number. I can still picture her as she carried her nephew and niece into the building. The tender way she kissed them and brushed back their hair. She may not be their mother, but she loves them, and I can tell from how they looked at her that they love her as well. That was the first time I ever thought about what it means to have children, that unconditional love. They didn’t care they’d been in a club or out late at night. They were just happy to be with her. It’s hard for me to understand that love.
It's weird because it’s not something I grew up with. My father wasn’t particularly loving, and neither was my mother. From age seven, I was sent to boarding schools and focused on school and sports. I never thought about loving or being loved.
"Hey, everything okay?" Ethan grasps my shoulder, and I look up at him.
"Sorry, what?"
"You totally spaced out again. Sarah asked if you wanted to come with us to the Hamptons next week."
"Oh. Sorry. I was thinking about something work-related."
"Really?" he says, raising an eyebrow. "What work-related item were you thinking about?" I attempt to come up with an answer and am saved by my grandmother’s arrival.
"There you are." I don’t know if I’ve ever been so thankful for my grandmother as she walks through the door and gives me a big hug. "Looking as handsome as ever, Jackson." She kisses me on both cheeks and then turns her attention to Ethan. "And you too. You're a sight for sore eyes, Ethan. Come here, boy."
"Hello," he says, giving her a big hug and two kisses as well. "This is my fiancée, Sarah."
"Beautiful." My grandma looks at her. "Nice to make your acquaintance."
"Nice to meet you as well," Sarah says. "I've heard a lot of amazing things."
"I'm sure you haven't," she says, laughing. "But what can I say? I'm the nicest Pruitt."
"Grandma," I say, and she waves her hand at me.
"So, would you like some aperitifs?" she asks and then nods to her butler, who’s standing in the corner. He approaches us, and I see Sarah's eyes widen. Now, she realizes what it is to be a Pruitt and be amongst old-money. “And we can talk about the future and?—”
"Grandma, we’re just going to just relax for a second."
"Of course, dear. Our guests won't be here till later."
"Guests? More guests?" I can feel myself starting to heat up.
"Just a few friends, dear. Just a few close friends."
"Uh-huh," I say.
"How's your father?"
"He seems to be doing well. I saw him a couple of days ago."
"I heard you had lunch."
