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"I've always had a lot of dreams," she says shrugging.
"Like being a lawyer?" I ask her. She stares at me for a couple of seconds and the light leaves her eyes. She looks down again and I frown. "You do want to become an attorney, right? You were going on and on about how you wanted to go to NYU or Columbia and take the LSAT and-"
"Yeah, it's a good move," she says. "It will set me up to take care of-"
"Is that why you want to become an attorney? Because you'll make money to cake care of your family?" Because you know you-"
"I don't want to talk about this right now," she says quickly. "Let's look at the rings." She squeezes my hand and I decide to let it go. The more I learn about Zara, the more selfless I think she is. She’s not truly living. And as I process that, I realize that the same could be said for myself as well.
We walk over to the jewelry and I watch her eyes light up with excitement as she points out different rings and tries them on. It feels surreal being here. I've never bought jewelry for anyone before in my life. Certainly never been in a jewelry store. And even though this isn't a real engagement and this isn't a real engagement ring, I still feel a sense of excitement and happiness and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm excited to get her back into my bed. Maybe it's because I'm counting down the hours until I can have her again. Maybe it's because there's something refreshing about spending time with Zara. She doesn't force things on me. She doesn't ask me uncomfortable or needling questions. She doesn't hint for me to give her things or give her compliments. She's honest, sweet and kind. She's the sort of woman that makes me want to be a better man, that makes me want to care about other people. She's the sort of person that makes me feel that there are human beings that actually care about others more than themselves. She is making me self-reflect.
However, self-reflection is making me annoyed at the both of us. I'm angry at her. I can see that she's put her life and dreams on hold for her family and friends, and I don't think that's fair to her. I don't think she should have to make herself a martyr to take care of them. I know if I ever meet her sister, I will let her know exactly what I think of her. Though I have a feeling if Zara heard me telling off her sister, she'd break up with me then and there. And even though this was a fake engagement, I didn't need her to complicate my life even more. So maybe I’ll just keep it to myself for now.
"I like this one.” She holds up a ring to me and the large diamond sparkles beautifully. There are smaller sapphire stones around the large diamond and my heart races as I watch her place it on her finger. Her eyes are wide and excited. "It's a bit expensive," she wrinkles her nose as she gazes at it in awe and I can tell that she loves it.
"It's perfect," I say, and then I kiss her, not because I want to shut her up but because the moment just feels right. Her eyes widen and she reaches up and touches the nape of my neck and presses herself into me. We kiss lightly and it feels like new life is being poured into me. It feels like the universe is singing and birds are chirping in unison. I step back and release her from my embrace and I wonder if that’s regret I see in her eyes. There’s a nervous yet speculative expression on her face and I know that she too felt how special that moment was.
"I just have to make her call," I say, stepping back, feeling slightly uncomfortable, and she nods and looks away. "I'll be right back."
"Sure, I'll look around some more."
"That’s fine.” I head towards the front of the store and step outside to take a couple of deep breaths. The air feels like it’s full of smoke, yet I inhale again as I need to get past that moment. I take another deep breath and then I look back through the window.
Zara's standing there looking at the ring on her finger, a small smile on her face as if she can't quite believe that she's wearing it. She looks pretty today in her cornflower blue dress, and brown sandals. Her hair is hanging loose in curls down her back. She doesn't know it and maybe she wouldn’t believe it, but she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. My stomach churns as the thought hits me that I'm feeling sappy. "This isn't real," I remind myself. I take another deep breath and grab my phone as it begins to ring.
"Jackson Pruitt.”
"Jackson." It’s my grandma and she sounds surprised.
"Hey Grandma," I say. "Sorry, I didn't realize it was you."
"Oh, I was about to say you never just answer the phone with your name."
"I know. I'm sorry. I didn’t check to see who was calling before I answered it. I'm actually just with Zara at-" I pause. I can't tell my grandma that I'm at Tiffany's with Zara or she'll wonder how I proposed to the love of my life without a ring. "I'm just hanging out with Zara right now." I correct my sentence.
"Oh, great. Put her on the phone. I'd love to talk to her."
"I don't know, Grandma. You'll be meeting her soon enough and-"
"I'd like to speak to her and I'd like to know who her people are," She says, and I try not to groan.
"She doesn't have people, Grandma. She's not a Vanderbilt or a Getty or a Kennedy. She's just her."
"What do you mean she doesn't have people? Of course she has people. She wasn't born from the Virgin Mary."
"Grandma, her parents live in Florida. She's not from money. Okay?"
"Oh no, when you say Florida, where exactly? Please don't tell me she's poor and from a crime family."
"Grandma."
"I mean, I'm glad you're in love, but is she a gator eating, side of the road fishing, truck driving bride or the descendant of a Bronx crime family? Are you sure I can't convince you to give Louisa Augusta a chance."
"Grandma, I just happen to like my gator eater." I have no idea if Zara eats gators, but I don’t care if she does. “Your comments are also extremely offensive.”
"Fine, fine, fine. May I say hello to her to at least hear what you like about her so much?"
"Fine. Hold on," I say and place her on hold. I walk back into Tiffany's and head over to Zara. She looks at me with a questioning expression on her face. I hold up the phone. "My grandma would like to say hello."
