AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I roll on my side to face the wall, and when I do, I get a whiff of Killian’s scent off his T-shirt that I threw on.
Ugh. Ouch.
Why would he do this to me? Why would he even start something when he knew we had an expiration date? Why wouldn’t he at least tell me so I had a choice in the matter?
Everything hurts and I want to die.
I sigh heavily, squeezing my eyes shut and willing myself to sleep. Just for a little bit, just so I don’t have to be awake.
I think I finally manage to drift off because the next thing I know, my alarm is going off.
I’m relieved at first because it means I have something to do. School should serve as an adequate distraction, especially since it’s Tuesday, my busiest day of the week.
But getting up and getting ready also requires energy and I have very little of that.
I don’t shower because each room doesn’t have its own, there’s just a communal one everyone shares. I tell myself that’s the entire reason, I just don’t want to deal with a communal shower situation, but I think the disgusting truth might be that I can still smell Killian on my skin, feel traces of him between my thighs, and I’m not ready to wash them off just yet. I’m not ready to be clean.
I brush my teeth, but I can’t brush my hair since it’s naturally curly and I didn’t shower. If I brush my hair when it’s not wet, it will be a frizzy disaster. I pull my hair back in a tired braid instead, and I don’t bother putting on makeup. If I look how I feel, so what?
I pull on loose-fitting sweats and a shapeless gray T-shirt I’ve had since high school, then I go through my school bag to make sure I have everything I need for my classes today.
Addison comes back in, dressed much cuter than I am and with what appears to be a bottle of juice in her hand.
“Good morning,” she says cheerfully. “I brought you a smoothie.”
“Oh. Thank you,” I say, reaching for the bottle and examining the label.
“It’s delish. They have a bunch of them in the drink cooler downstairs, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to be around people.”
“I definitely do not. Thank you.”
“When you’re ready to go, we can also sneak out the back way if you want to.”
I stand, sliding my bag over my shoulder. “I’m ready.”
“Oh. Okay,” she says brightly. “Let’s get out of here, then.”
Since Addison takes us the back way, we manage to get out of the house without encountering any of the other girls. I’m immensely grateful, and if I ever have enough money to live again in the foreseeable future, I’m going to buy her a thank you gift.
We don’t talk about what happened on the way to school, probably because she realizes talking about that right before sending me to my classes isn’t the best way to make sure I learn anything, but even without getting into it, my concentration is shot.
I try like hell to get my head in the game, but by the time I’m leaving physics, I can’t even remember walking to the building, let alone anything we went over in class.
I consider blowing off my next class because what even is the point, but I tell myself I only feel that way because I’m sad right now, and if I give in to the sadness, I’ll regret it when I show up to class on Thursday completely lost.
I don’t sneak in lunch or even a snack, and I forgot to pack myself a granola bar, so I’m seriously dragging by the time I haul myself to the Cutler lounge at three. They have a spread of cookies and coffee, so I help myself to both and then sink into a loveseat to at least put something in my body.
While I’m sitting there eating, my phone lights up on my lap and I see a number I don’t recognize. Swiping it open and putting it to my ear, I say, “Hello?”
“Hi, can I please speak with Brynn Blakely?”
“This is.”
“Hi, Brynn,” says the perky voice on the other line. “This is Michelle with student health services. I’m calling about your appointment tomorrow at the student health center. Unfortunately, the doctor had a family emergency and has to move appointments around a bit. We won’t be able to squeeze your appointment in, but I can reschedule you for something next week if that works for you.”
I sigh. “It’s okay. I don’t need it anymore anyway.”
“All right. Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us.”
