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His steely grip on my hips keeps me from crawling away—which is an idiotic impulse because all I want is him deeper inside me. He drives his cock into me hard, and I gasp, losing all sense of my place in the world as he pushes me over the edge.
I moan loudly through the flood of pleasure, taking his thick cock as my pussy squeezes around him.
“Oh, fuck, Brynn,” he groans, driving his hips forward, pumping into me a few more times before he joins me in rapture.
In the aftermath, I barely manage to pull myself up on the bed so I can collapse in a heap. Killian joins me, sinking into the bed behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
“We should have had sex immediately,” I murmur.
“What?” he says, sounding lightly amused.
“Think of all the time we’ve wasted not having sex. That was so stupid.”
He chuckles against my skin, absently kissing the ball of my shoulder. “I tried to tell you.”
As much as I enjoy being his little spoon, I wiggle out of his grasp enough so that I can roll over to face him. I want a kiss, and I need to be close to him, so I hook my leg around him and pull myself close, then I lean in to give him a little kiss.
“I love this,” I tell him, cuddling even closer.
“So do I,” he murmurs, sounding much more thoughtful, but maybe it’s just because he was sleepy. He was out late, and then he spent his time at home showering and fucking me, so the poor guy has only slept for a few hours.
“We should go to bed early tonight,” I decide.
“Agreed.”
Tilting my head up so I can meet his gaze, I ask, “Do you go home for the holidays?”
I’m wondering how much time we have, what the future will look like for us. We haven’t technically even been on a single date, but here we are tangled up in bed together, so that’s gotta be something, right?
Plus, he told me all that stuff about the Blue Bloods, about how it can be difficult to date one. Why bother if he had no intention of actually dating me?
It feels like we’re dating even without the dates. We’re temporarily living together, and we definitely like each other.
I could see a future with him, and I wonder if he does, too.
He looks a little guarded when he nods, but I know he has mentioned having conflicted feelings about his family, so I guess that’s probably why.
With a slightly playful smile, I ask, “Have you ever taken a girl home before?”
I already suspect the answer, but he confirms it when he shakes his head. “Nope.”
“I haven’t either.”
“You haven’t taken a girl home before?” he teases.
I roll my eyes good-naturedly. “A guy. When I was younger, I loved the holidays—which isn’t unique or anything, but I don’t just mean the ones where you get presents. Presents are cool, but what I enjoy about the holidays is mainly that downtime and togetherness with people you love. The bonding time, you know? The feeling of family.”
Nodding thoughtfully, he says, “I can see how that would be nice. Holidays never felt like that to me.”
“I haven’t felt it in a while myself. I don’t go home for the holidays anymore, but I look forward to a day when I have a family of my own to celebrate with every year. I know you don’t believe in marriage,” I say lightly, “but do you plan on having a family at least?”
“I never said I didn’t believe in marriage.”
I hesitate, going back in my memory for the thing that made me think that. “I guess you didn’t, but you said you don’t believe in love. I took that to mean you were anti-marriage, too.”
He shakes his head faintly. “Love and marriage are separate things. Marriage is a commitment you make to someone, to build a life with them, to always be there for them, and they will do the same in return. I’m not afraid of a well-made commitment. I even like them in some capacity because they let you know exactly what you can expect. Love is much more fickle. People fall in and out of love all the fucking time. It seems worthless to me, honestly. People who follow their hearts alone can’t be depended on, and the way I’m setting my life up… There’s no place for undependable people. I want to know who’s in my corner, and I don’t want them to be there because they were in the mood to be for a moment, because then what happens when their mood changes?” He shakes his head more firmly. “I like to know exactly what I’m getting into, what’s expected of me and what I’ll get in return.”
I smile faintly, caressing his jaw. “I’m not sure that’s how life works.”
