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Prologue

“Okay, out with it.” I toss my controller on the ground and turn to my best friend, Xavier.

“Out with what?” His eyes shift briefly in my direction before going back to the screen, which adds another layer of weird to an already bizarre afternoon.

“You’re barely looking at me when you talk, you’re losing to me despite the fact I’ve always sucked at Madden, and you’re here instead of out with your girlfriend on a Saturday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to finally see you, but even though you’re physically here your mind is somewhere else. What’s up?”

Xavier pauses the game and drops his controller, angling his body so he’s sort of facing me even though he still can’t meet my gaze.“I’m not going.”

“Going where?” Xavier and I are usually so in tune with each other we don’t have to speak to know what the other is thinking, or we used to be anyway, yet right now I’m totally in the dark.

“I’m not going to school with you in the fall, Cruz.” He dips his head to the ground.

He’s not…what?

My body seizes up while my mind whirls, catapulting me into a state of limbo as I try to make sense of the words coming out of his mouth. It’s like I know I need to move, to speak, to do something, but regardless of the noise in my head I can’t get my body to react or do anything other than sit in stunned silence.

Front Range University in Colorado has been our number one choice since we were twelve. Our town didn’t have any sports teams to claim as our own, college or pro, and since we were only a few hours away from the FRU Bighorns most everyone adopted their football team as ours. Xavier and I used to pretend we were college athletes whenever we’d toss the ball around, and when the recruiters came knocking with offers for both of us… I swear, I’ve never seen him smile as much as he did that day.

“Did you hear me?” Xavier finally brings his eyes to mine, and the guilt I see there is what snaps me out of my stupor. Damn right he should feel guilty.

“I heard you. Are you gonna tell me why?” I force my voice to stay level even though I’m screaming inside. Why are you going back on your word... Why are you leaving me on my own, why…why…why?

“Piper got into a school in Kansas. So did I,” Xavier says softly, confirming what my heart already knew.

“You signed a letter of intent with Colorado.” I remind him, since that’s the only card I’ve got. The best friend card lost its power the moment he started dating Piper. I’m not bitter—mostly. I can handle taking a back seat to his girlfriend, which I always figured would happen at some point. I just can’t help thinking it’s too soon for that. We’re still in high school for God’s sake.

“It’s not binding.” Xavier lifts a limp shoulder.

“But it could cost you a year of eligibility.”

“Only a year.”

“Only a year?” I balk.

Changing schools is one thing, but to willingly sit out a year? Football has been our passion for nearly a decade. The thing we’ve been doing since before our hands were big enough to even hold the ball. It’s how we met, and we spent countless weekends watching every game available and dreaming of getting our own shot one day.

True, he doesn’t need to be in Colorado to get that shot, but sitting out a year isn’t going to do him any favors, and playing in Kansas... They didn’t even recruit him.

Colorado did, and up until now, I assumed we’d go there together–room together, train together–everything we always imagined as kids and promised one day we’d do. Xavier may have been distant lately, but he never indicated things had changed.

“How can you walk away from a scholarship? How can you voluntarily sit out a year after the epic season you just had? You’re at the top of your game. Hell, the top might actually be higher than what you’ve done so far, with the right team. That’s Colorado. That’s us. What we’ve been planning since we were little. It’s here.”

“Colorado hasn’t been my main focus for a while now.” Xavier manages to shock me again.

“Since you met Piper.” My voice is so soft I’m surprised he hears it.

Xavier sighs heavily. “I really wish you’d give her a chance. You might actually like her.”

The anger I’d been keeping at bay starts to surface, though somehow, I manage to keep my voice calm. “In what way haven’t I given her a chance? I’m not the one avoiding the post-game bonfires or insisting the two of you take her two-seater car for lunch every day so no one else can join. And have I ever told you she can’t come when I invite you to hang out? In fact, I seem to remember encouraging you to ask her out when you told me you thought she was cute. You don’t get to say I haven’t given her a chance. The only issue I have with Piper is she makes it impossible for us to ever hang out anymore–which I never complained about, by the way. Now, I’m worried you’re giving up your dream for some teenage crush and a relationship that could end a month from now.”

My chest heaves as I try to breathe through my irritation. Yeah, part of me is panicking that what I thought was a phase he’d outgrow once we got to college is clearly more serious than I realized, but the other part of me is legitimately concerned about his future.

“You don’t get it,” Xavier shakes his head.

“You’re right. I don’t. I don’t get why you want to live her life instead of yours.”

“Maybe if you ever dated anyone you’d understand. It’s not hers or mine, it’s ours. It’s what we both want.”

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