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“Do you want the tickets then? I know it’s not your thing, but I’ve got nothing else to do with them. You could bring that guy from the frat party.”
“Aiden?” My question seems to distract Liam from the dark path he was starting down.
“Yeah. Didn’t you say you’d seen him a few times since then?”
“Those were more…” Liam shakes his head like he’s decided it’s better not to answer, the hair he hasn’t cut since he got here casting shadows over his eyes each time his head swivels away from the sun. “And taking him to a game would be like a date.”
“You guys are just each other’s outlet. Got it.” I start toward our dorm, and he falls into step beside me.
“Now I really need to stop seeing him.” Liam exhales heavily.
“Why?”
“Because saying it that way makes me sound like I’m using him. And I think he might want it to be more.”
“You don’t?” I hold the door open for him.
He shakes his head decisively. “He’s a nice guy but… We haven’t been here all that long. I’m still getting to know people, still exploring what the school has to offer. I want the freedom to do that.”
“You can’t do that together?” We walk single file down the hall to our room, a habit I’ve fallen into so we don’t take up the whole width of the path like my friends and I had when I bumped into him that first night.
“I guess. It’s just…”
“You’re not that into him.”
Liam groans. “You’re really making me feel like an asshole right now.”
“Look, I don’t get it personally,” I say as we enter our room. “But from what I understand you won’t know if you’re into someone unless you try it. And if it takes you a few times to figure that out, is that so bad?”
“I guess not. So…” He trails off, leaning the sticks against the wall before giving me an uncertain look over his shoulder. “Is that how it was for you? You tried it a few times and realized you weren’t into it?”
We haven’t talked about my sexuality since the day I told him it freaks me out to have to define it, so I’m a little surprised he’s asking questions now. Then again, I suppose by saying I don’t understand what things are like for him I basically invited him to ask what they’re like for me. And since he already knows this particular secret…
“Pretty much.” The bed creaks slightly when I fall onto it. “I wasn’t sure how long it was supposed to take to react, and I figured the first time was a fluke, like my inexperience was the roadblock. A few times after that, when I didn’t magically get hard after kissing and groping and shit, I started to realize the desire just wasn’t there. Even if I considered the other person attractive.”
“Do you…”
“Do I what?”
“Can you…” I swear Liam’s cheeks go redder than the Spiderman costume on the poster next to his bed.
“Spit it out.”
He hops on his mattress and leans against the wall, eyes timidly meeting mine. “Can you get it up? Like by yourself? If you wanted to…”
“You mean like you do in the shower every night?” I cast him a sly grin, laughing when his head thunks against the wall. What can I say, the water doesn’t muffle his noises completely.
“You know about that?” he groans, his face getting pinker by the second.
“Yes, I know about that, and yes, I can. I jerk off like everyone else, just maybe not as often.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew about that?” Liam nods his head toward the bathroom door. “You said you didn’t want a front row seat.”
“And I don’t have one. You’re in the bathroom with the door closed when you do your thing. It’s not your fault the sound carries. And just because I’m ACE doesn’t mean you have to change who you are.”
I swear he almost smiles. “I can try to be quieter.”
“And I can put in earbuds. Don’t stress about it.”
