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“I don’t have a better one,” I tell him honestly.
“You should. You’re basically telling me it’s okay to use you, and even though your intensions are good, that’s still fucked up.”
My head bobs slowly as I consider his words. They aren’t without merit, though I’m not convinced they apply.
“I hear what you’re saying, I just don’t get why it matters. I mean, it’s basically the same as saying I’ll do your laundry or carry your food tray. For me, anyway. It’s a favor. Besides, you’re not asking to use me, I’m offering.”
“Favors are usually reciprocated. What do you get?” He arches a blond brow.
“I don’t need anything.”
“Stop playing hero and answer.”
“I did. I don’t need anything.” My head starts to swivel back and forth, stopping abruptly when I catch Liam’s eyes and see what can only be described as desperation. It’s subtle, and I don’t know why it’s there, but I sense it means the next words out of his mouth will be important.
“Maybe I need you to need something,” he says, an uncharacteristically vulnerable softness in his voice. “So I don’t feel like a world class jackass for taking advantage of your asexuality.”
That’s not how I see our…whatever this is, but if he can’t accept a favor without doing one in return, I’ll go along with it. “Okay then, tell me something about you.”
Those are the last words I expected to say aloud since getting to know him better feels like it would be betraying Xavier. Yet, I didn’t hesitate at all when Liam asked what I wanted in return.
“Like what?” he asks cautiously.
There is something that’s been bugging me for a while now. “You said you’d been to the hospital by yourself before with a broken arm. What happened?”
Liam flops on the bed again, but not before I see him flinch. “Why do you want to know?”
“You told me to ask for something in return.”
“Yeah, like buying you lunch or something. Not twenty questions.”
“I don’t want lunch. Besides, if I’m following this conversation correctly, I’m about to put my hand on your dick again, which I don’t mind doing if it helps you, but since you pointed out that’s not usually something friends do for each other maybe we should get to know each other better or something.”
Shit! That didn’t come out right.
Liam traps his lips between his teeth before responding cautiously. “That sounds an awful lot like you’re asking me to date you.”
“No, I mean like…maybe I should know something about you besides the fact your default setting is frustrated and you’ve got a high sex drive.”
That came out even worse. Fuck.
Liam snorts in reply and pins me with a droll look. “I’d rather not do this at all if your return favor is asking me to get even more personal than you holding my dick.”
He’s offended. Shit.
I had a feeling the story behind Liam’s first broken arm was a sore spot, but I didn’t realize how sore, or I would’ve let him tell me in his own time. It’s just hard to look at him now without thinking of him being all alone then, and I hate thinking of him hurting without anyone there to help. But I can see how the question might’ve crossed a line.
“I’m sorry. That story about you being in the hospital alone has been bothering me, but you’re right. It’s not my business. It’s that hero complex you like to accuse me of having. I’m protective of my friends, and I was worried. I’ll try not to go overboard with that. And I’ll pick a different favor, just not right now.”
Liam’s head dips slightly, but it takes another few minutes for him to speak. “It’s maybe not a bad thing to have someone worry about me. And for the record I don’t have a high sex drive. It’s average for someone my age.”
I chuckle awkwardly. “Yeah, I guess everyone has a high drive compared to me, so…”
“Fuck, I didn’t mean that to be insulting.”
“It wasn’t. Did you still want me to…”
Liam wriggles on the bed like he’s physically wrestling with how to respond, which is all the answer I need.
