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Chapter twenty
Liam
“Please, Liam?” Cruz hovers over me in bed, kissing along my collarbone. Playing dirty if you ask me, since he’s learned how much I love having his mouth there. “I promise you’ll have fun, and if you don’t, I’ll come back with you.”
“And miss Christmas with your family? No, you won’t.” I prop myself up just long enough to kiss his puffy lips, which are still swollen from sucking on my cock this morning. And again thirty minutes ago, since he’s determined not to let me out of bed until I give in to his ridiculous request.
It’s possible I might be getting too much pleasure out of saying no, but who am I to object to blow jobs as his preferred form of begging?
That’s one of the more fascinating discoveries we’ve made since confessing our mutual crushes nearly a month ago, Cruz loves giving blow jobs. He likes receiving them too, but more than once I’ve woken up to find his head bobbing between my legs, a blissed-out look on his face.
I keep meaning to return the favor, but he usually wakes before I do. I may have to set an alarm to beat him to it.
So far, Cruz hasn’t worked up to anything more, although a few days ago he let me poke around his hole, just teasing the entrance, and if his guttural moans are any indication, he didn’t hate it.
Just wait until I introduce him to his prostate.
His calloused fingers glide over my stomach as he kisses my jaw. “I won’t let you spend another holiday in a hotel by yourself. Not while you’re dating me.”
“Are we dating now?” I raise my brows, playfully daring him to expand on the topic we haven’t broached since that first kiss.
I don’t expect him to answer. It’s much too soon for that, and he hasn’t had time to fully think through the implications of what having a boyfriend would mean. If he were anyone else, I might not be so understanding, but Cruz is naïve about sex and relationships on the best of days, and this being his first… He’s like a kid with a brand new toy.
Behind closed doors, he’s almost in a rush to experience all the things he never took an interest in before. Flirting, kissing, cuddling…he wants it all, and of course I’m happy to oblige since I want those things, too. But outside the walls of our room, he’s just my friend, same as before.
I’m not complaining about that. I expected it, and I’m happy to give him the time to figure things out, especially since it’s not as simple as being comfortable with his sexuality. The reality is there are real concerns for his potential future in the NFL if he appears to be anything other than straight, and several weeks into his first ‘dating’ experience is way too soon to slap a label on that could have a ripple effect on his future.
Will I always feel that way, if this thing between us keeps going? That’s also too early to say. Right now, I’m content to keep doing what we’re doing, which is getting naked at every opportunity.
Now that Cruz’s body has decided it likes mine, and we discovered I thoroughly enjoy being tossed around like a ragdoll, he instigates things just as much as I do, if not more. Pinning me up against walls, throwing me on the bed... Once, he even wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me to the shower. My dick has never been happier, and my heart… I’m doing my best to keep that organ in check.
That’s hard when Cruz shows his sensitive side just as often as the aggressive one. Sure, there are times when he pounces on me when I walk through the door, yet more often than not, his interest takes a more subtle path. I’ll feel him watching me as I do homework, play video games or lounge in bed. And when I give in and meet his gaze, he’ll approach me almost shyly. And he’ll touch me like I’m the most fragile thing in the world.
Basically, Cruz may have discovered the ability to get aroused, but that’s not his natural state, so what we’re doing and where we go from here is something I’ll let him dictate. For now, I’m just along for the ride, and as long as I keep my heart from getting ahead of itself, I figure there’s no harm in indulging in this crush.
I might tease him about our state of limbo from time to time, though, if he brings it up.
“Is that what you want? To date?” Cruz ducks his head to hide the way his cheeks flush bright pink.
“I want you, Cruz. Secretly, publicly, I don’t care which, and I don’t care what we call it. I just want this.” I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull him to me for a lingering kiss, loving the way my words make him smile against my lips.
“I want you, too. So, you’ll come home with me for Christmas, then?”
Taking the hand he’s got splayed over my chest in mine, I link our fingers together and brush my thumb along his. “No. I won’t be your charity case.”
“Please, Sunshine.”
“Pulling out the big guns, huh? You haven’t called me that in a while.”
“It hasn’t made sense to use in a while.”
“Why’s that?”
“It’s supposed to be an ironic nickname.” He nuzzles the side of my neck. “And you haven’t been frowning nearly as much as you used to. Even Dani says you aren’t shooting daggers at everyone anymore.”
That’s because I can’t stop thinking about the giant teddy bear lying next to me. It doesn’t seem to matter where I am or what I’m doing, images of Cruz pop into my head with alarming frequency. His glowing smile when I walk in the room, his heated eyes as he takes in my body, his wondrous expression as he finds his release.
“Regular orgasms will do that to a guy.” I downplay my apparent happiness.
