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“People are other human beings that are still living despite your best efforts to pretend otherwise, and Cruz is my boyfriend. But back to the real issue here, you canceled my tuition. I used to think the worst thing you could do was treat me like I’m invisible, but actively sabotaging my future is another level. I should nominate you for Father of the Year.”
“Excuse me?”
“No, I don’t think I will.” A few heads turn my way as my voice rises, so I try to lower my volume. “I’m tired of making excuses for you. You don’t deserve it.”
“I don’t deserve this attitude.”
“Are you sure about that? Because I’d say a father who doesn’t know his kid lost a scholarship when he broke his arm, and who doesn’t even know where his kid actually goes to school, and who forgot to take him to said school on the first day like he was supposed to, deserves all the attitude in the world. Kudos to you for getting the year right though. Unlike Mom, at least you know I’m in college instead of high school.”
“Your mother is struggling, William. How dare you talk about her like that?”
“How would you know if she’s struggling? When was the last time you were even home? You holed up in your office and shut the rest of the world out for years. You don’t know shit about what’s going on at home.”
My dad clears his throat. “I couldn’t… That house was… We all deal with grief in different ways.”
“Spare me that tired old speech. You don’t get to play grieving father with me. Not when you could still be a father if you wanted to.”
“I don’t understand where this anger is coming from. I—”
“When did you realize I was gone?” I cut him off before I totally lose my shit over the I grieve differently routine.
“I assumed you went to Cornell like we planned.”
“Not what I asked, but since you’re on this Cornell kick you should know that plan got fucked when I broke my arm last year.” My dad scoffs indignantly at my language, but I keep going. “They rescinded the scholarship, so I had to make other plans.”
“Why would a rescinded scholarship mean you go to a different school? You could always walk on, and even if you didn’t play lacrosse, you could still go to Cornell. I went there.”
“Maybe that’s why I didn’t want to,” I shout, causing more than a few heads to swing my direction—again—so I clear my throat and lower my voice. “If my tuition isn’t paid in the next ten days, I’ll be unenrolled. If you want to ignore me, fine. Please don’t sabotage my education on top of that.”
“You’re doing that yourself by not going to the school we picked out. I can open far more doors for you at Cornell.”
“I can open my own doors.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Being upset with me is no reason to jeopardize your future.”
“If you wanted me to believe you were concerned for my future, you’d be better off dropping the whole Cornell thing. Colorado is where I belong.”
“I won’t pay for you to go to a school I don’t approve of.”
He won’t pay. I’ll have to go. I’ll have to leave Cruz, and if I’m not here, what’s best for him and what’s best for me are going to become two different things very quickly.
My arms are suddenly so heavy I can barely hold the phone to my ear, leaving me unsure where I get the strength to say, “Well it’s not like I can just transfer once the semester’s started.”
“That is unfortunate. I suppose you’ll have to start over as a freshman next year.”
“Or I could finish this year at Colorado and transfer in the fall. That way I wouldn’t be a year behind.” I have no intention of transferring. I’ll drop out before I give in to his wishes. But if I can buy myself another semester, I’ve got time to figure out my next move.
“It would look better if you graduated on time,” he says more to himself than to me before his volume rises, “Fine. You’ll complete this semester where you are and transfer in the fall.”
“You’ll call the school to pay the tuition?” I confirm.
“Yes. And I’ll call my contacts at Cornell to see about getting you enrolled for summer courses. You should get acclimated there as soon as possible.”
“Sure.” It’s not like I thought you’d want to see me over the summer, anyway.
“Keep those grades up. It’ll make the transfer process easier.”
“Okay.” I hang up without saying goodbye.
