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The door swings shut as I cover the distance between us and fall to my knees at his side. Up close, I can see how red his eyes are, hear his shallow breathing, and mine speeds up in response.
“Liam?” I brush his hair away from his face. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
He blinks slowly. Once, twice, before his eyes focus on mine. “He’s cutting me off. Or he will, if I stay here past this semester.”
“Who’s cutting—” As the words come out, it occurs to me there’s really only one possibility. “Your dad? You talked to him?”
“He reported my tuition payment as fraud since I’m not at the school he wants me to go to. I convinced him to let me stay through the semester but… I can’t afford it after that. I’ll have to go to Cornell like he wants me to or drop out.”
The robotic tone of Liam’s voice guts me, mirroring how I feel at the thought of him being across the country. Empty. Hollow.
With as much calm as I can muster, I stroke his hair and murmur in his ear. “It’s okay, Liam. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
“Yeah, but for how long?”
“Always.”
He snorts as more tears gather in his eyes. “Don’t just say what you think I want to hear. That’s not who you are. You tell the truth, no matter what. I actually respect that about you, so don’t change now.”
I can only assume he’s referring to my indecision about coming out, which I made every attempt to be up front about. Hopefully, his faith in my honesty will help him believe me now.
“If I’ve always been honest in the past, what makes you think now is any different?”
“In the past, I wasn’t a pathetic, crying mess you needed to placate.” He wipes his tears with the back of his wrist, but before he can rest his arm on the mattress, I take his hand in mine and link our fingers together.
“You aren’t pathetic, and I would never say anything to placate you.” I wipe his face with the fingers of my free hand. “And you may be a crying mess right now, but you’re crying over having to leave me, and while I hate that, I also kind of don’t. It means you love me as much as I love you.”
“I… What?” Liam sniffs, his eyes darting between mine almost in a panic.
“That’s what I wanted to tell you when I rushed in here.” I brush another tear from his cheek. “I think I knew it at the graveyard, but I didn’t trust it since it happened so soon. And once I knew it was real, I got stuck on the whole career thing, and what having a boyfriend would mean for going pro. I was scared.” My throat constricts as I swallow the nerves building there. “Scared of losing you, scared of losing football, scared of disappointing Xavier. But I’m not scared anymore.”
“You’re not?”
“No. Football is a passion. If I’m lucky, maybe even a career. But it’s not forever. That label is reserved for you.”
“What are you saying?” Liam blinks in a rush.
“I’m saying no more hiding. Any future teams will either draft me knowing I have a boyfriend, or they won’t draft me at all.”
Instead of throwing his arms around me for a sloppy kiss like I’m expecting, Liam sits up and shakes his head vigorously back and forth. “No. Cruz, no. I don’t want you to resent me if you don’t get your chance.” A fresh wave of tears spills down his face, breaking my heart all over again.
Admittedly, I understand where his concern is coming from since I’m the one who probably put it there, but it’s just not an issue anymore. It never should’ve been one in the first place.
I sit next to him and cup his face, so he has to look at me. “Did you ask me to make this decision?”
He shakes his head as much as he can while I’m holding it steady.
“Then how could I resent you?”
“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be in this position.”
“What position is that? The one where I can finally look in the mirror without asking what’s broken about me? Or being able to accept that I may have been wrong about Xavier’s desire to stay with Piper? I’m a better person now than I was a few months ago, and that seems like a pretty good position to be in. It’d be even better if I have my boyfriend by my side, though, which is why I’m not keeping us a secret anymore.”
Liam gives me a watery smile. “There doesn’t need to be a secret at all if I’m not here.”
“Are you really planning to leave, because I’m not planning to let you go.”
“How can you keep me? I can’t afford to stay here past the end of the semester. I checked. I have no work experience or credit history to get a student loan without a cosigner, and my dad damn sure won’t do that for me. It’s his choice or nothing as far as he’s concerned. I might have to leave Colorado in a few months.”
