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“Me, Francesca – Rocco’s girlfriend at the time, Gabby – Bruno’s, there was Carla and Alex, I don’t think I saw them again after that trip… They were smart and cut ties when they could.” I swallow past a lump in my throat, my voice hoarse from screaming earlier. “We were gossiping and talking about books for so long that we hardly noticed the boys were gone. Must’ve been… maybe four hours.”
Leandro relaxes slightly as I speak. It’s like I’m soothing him with some haunting lullaby.
I tense up recalling when the boys finally returned. Their expressions hit differently now that I know. The scratch on Stephon’s face from ‘scraping against a tree.’
“At five, it was already dark out, and they came back with pink noses and crazed looks in their eyes. I thought it was just adrenaline from speeding down black diamond paths, but…”
“But now you know.”
I turn away sharply, trying to recall Joey’s expression. “Rape? Murder?”
“To get back at me for disrespecting the family. That’s what Paulie Barone asked of Joseph’s father. We men… we sign up for this life one way or another. Even a few women do, too. The ones who choose to partake. But you… Gabby and the others – you did not.”
“So shouldn’t I be excused?”
He shakes his head once. “Therein lies the grey. What happens when you become too intertwined against your will? The whole house of cards comes falling down if I simply let you stay where you are. It is a sad, sad twist of fate.”
My teeth clatter. I sit on my hands in a vain attempt to hide my fear.
“There are quick and easy ways to deal with it. Any of the family heads would tell you the same. A bullet in your head and a few prayers excuses the entire process. Because, in a gangster’s life, there’s one priority above all. Protect this thing of ours.”
I notice the tone in his voice. There’s contempt in it.
“You don’t agree?” I ask hesitantly.
“Never have. That’s why there’s often a target on my head.”
“What do you believe, then?” I ask.
A grin creeps up his face, which makes me want to crawl out of my skin. The silence is long enough to send my mind spiraling. I wonder if I’m going to become a skin-puppet or something sick.
“I don’t know,” he says evenly. “What does one on borrowed time do, when he knows his time is up?”
He takes his silenced pistol out from his belt and places it on the center console, making me retreat farther into the corner.
This man is nuts. Is he talking about killing himself?
The gun metal rattles with every little bump. Is he testing me? Daring me to take it?
Arnold taught me how to check if the safety is off. But if I reach for it, my wrist would be broken in ten pieces. I saw what he did to Lenny in a flash. He’s unnaturally fast.
“Can you put that away?” I ask.
He says nothing, just letting the tension of a death machine rattle between us. It’s pointed forward, toward the glass, in a perfect position for me to grab. Maybe…
No.
“Are you tempted to perpetuate the cycle of vengeance?” he finally says.
Leandro doesn’t talk like any of the other thugs I’ve been around. He’s more educated, like I was. It’s even more chilling to know he’s not simple.
“I don’t seek vengeance,” I say.
His eye fixates on me. “Then you understand what I’ve done, despite your complaints.”
Now I’m the one letting silence marinate.
“You agree that I’ve freed you.” His smile terrifies me. Like he’s talking to someone else in the car. Not me. I don’t know how to explain it. Instead of going along with it, I try again to change the subject.
