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Fuck.
At first I thought I was just synching up with Ms. Alpha – Maria. But about a week ago, I started thinking otherwise.
Leandro and I have been sneaking a lot of sex. For some reason though, I know it was our first night that did it. Things got so heated, neither of us could’ve pulled out in time no matter how hard we tried. It felt too good, so right.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“Psst! Sia. You alright in there?” Anabel whispers. “I heard a loud noise again.”
I wipe my mouth and curse under my breath. “I’m fine, Anabel. Sorry. Just a bad dream,” I speak back as quietly as I can.
“You sure, hun?” Her voice is loud, coming from under the door crack. It’s like her cheek is flat on the ground right outside.
“I’m sure. Thank you.”
“Mm. Feel better.” She scratches at the door, lingers for a bit, and eventually tiptoes back to her room.
As soon as she leaves, another round of vomit comes rushing up to fill my cheeks, and soon after bursts into the bucket. The sloshy noises and putrid smell makes me roll over as far away as possible.
Joey and I could never conceive. He came in me all the time. I thought I was barren or something.
Now I’m convinced either he was the problem, or my body just rejected anything associated with that man entirely.
Leandro…
I hold my belly and cry silent tears. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. On the one hand – he’s kind, sexy, protective. On the other – I’m his fucking prisoner, and he’s a cold-blooded killer.
Rolling again so my face is down in my pillow, I sob hard, shoulders bobbing. They’re ugly, let-it-all-out sobs. There’s a hope that maybe I’m just coming down with the flu or something.
But that’s a far cry.
We’ve barely had contact with anyone else besides one another. What are the chances Arnold breathing down my neck a month ago made me sick now? Slim-to-fucking-none.
I get up and look in the mirror to see dark circles under my eyes, a pale face, and a little bit of bloat I’ve never experienced in my life. My body feels all disjointed and confused, like it’s trying to create something… like it’s trying to create a fucking baby.
Oh crap. I grip my dresser tight. I’m hyperventilating.
If anyone down here finds out, I’m dead. They’d shun me from the group, refuse to let me eat. My only hope would be the wolf. And in this moment of pure panic, my fear keeping a chokehold on my doubts gets the better of me, wondering if he’s looking at me or his dead wife in that fractured mind of his.
It takes everything in my power not to slam my fists on the dresser. I can’t call more attention to myself at this hour. No privacy. Just sit in the darkness and bite my pillow, hoping that this is just a nightmare within a nightmare.
An hour passes of me staring around a dark room. My emotions have calmed slightly, and a smirk forms on my face. Leandro cooked for me, twice now. He also took me hiking on a freak sixty-degree day in the middle of the winter. He cursed more than once, claiming that it felt like a sauna outside. What a sick puppy he is.
I laugh to myself.
He’s been good to me, and I’ve been trying to be cognizant of the group. I tell Leandro to take me home so the girls don’t get suspicious. Playing favorites puts me in a weird spot. Anabel’s always sniffing around and comparing down to the minute.
At this point, I’m scared of her more than I am of Leandro.
xxx
I gasp awake to cursing on the other side of my door. It’s morning now, finally. I guess I got a few hours of sleep, at least. Swinging the covers off of me wafts the awful smell of marinating vomit around the room.
Ugh. I have to dump this in the toilet without anyone seeing.
My body aches – probably from flailing in my nightmares all night – and my eyes are heavy. Everything is off.
I tiptoe to my door and put my ear to it.
