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Something dangerous.
I can’t take his hand. Not when there’s fresh blood on it.
Eventually he retracts his offer and stands over me – a set of six blocky abs framed by an awning of indents. His pecs are perfect. Not too massive, just enough to be swaddled in. But he’s poison.
“Gia, listen to me. What I said on the phone the other day, I meant it. All I want is you by my side. We’ll be unstoppable. I’ll take care of you.”
I shake my head. “This isn’t how I imagined to be taken care of, Castor.” I nod to the room beyond the door.
“I’ve never let a woman into my life before. All they see is the money and the power I wield, but never what it takes to retain it. My crew goes under fire sometimes, Gia. We defend what’s ours, because we earned it. This is what it takes. Come defend it with me, like Donny and Ellie do.”
I shake my head again.
No way. I’m not a mafia princess. Besides, didn’t she run from them too? Yeah, I’m pretty sure their story starts with Ellie being kidnapped by him, for God’s sake. Definitely not me.
He lost me there. I’m not comforted by his poisonous declarations. He’s so far lost in his golden darkness he can’t even see how demented his actions are.
“I—I’ve got to go, Castor.”
A part of me is scared he’ll exercise force to keep me put, but he doesn’t. He only looks on with those adoring eyes, as if he didn’t just murder someone like Khal Drogo did.
I stand tentatively, scared of what’s to come. After a long exhale, I head slowly up the stairs. It’s poetic in a way. I’m heading toward the light, while he remains in the dungeon. This is right—
“Gia,” he interrupts my thought. “I just want you to know, I’m falling for you.”
I stop in my tracks, my whole body frowning in exhaustion. Not because I don’t feel it too. No. Quite the opposite. But I can’t.
Not like this.
I open the door, inhaling the scent of the shop and sighing with relief upon seeing the sun shining through windows. Anything to wash off the dreariness of what I just witnessed.
One look down shows I’m still shaking.
Tonight I have a mind to go apologize to my boss for the abrupt absence, beg for a dead shift just to get back into the swing of things, like before my life got out of hand.
I wave farewell to the elderly man minding the shop, and find myself sighing with relief once the crisp spring air slaps me in the face. Being on the run from the man who was just drowned in gold really did a number on me. Now it’s like a weight is lifted.
It’s bittersweet. On the one hand, I owe Castor for that, don’t I? On the other, though… he’s a cold-blooded murderer, and that man was only after me in the first place because of him.
At least I’m free from fear now. All I have to worry about is my stupid brother watching from somewhere out of sight. Where the fuck was he when I needed him?
Don’t be a hypocrite, Gia. You wanted him gone. He’s gone. You wanted Castor gone, he’s gone. Leave it alone and go live in peace.
When I get in the car, I let my forehead fall against the steering wheel. Why couldn’t Castor just leave me out of the darkness? I think of the banter we shared when things were lighter. The good with him is so good. But the bad… is too much.
Shit!
I grit my teeth and turn on the car.
When I get home, I greet Linda meandering upstairs – who’s still in her PJs at 4:30 p.m. – and shut my eyes when I’m closed into my private little space. A twinge turns my stomach. What if there are other Russians after me? Spying on me in my little apartment?
Castor is my wall of protection now that he knows, even if I can’t be with him.
Relax, I tell myself as I head to my room and pull out the Bangos uniform for tonight. Stacey is a lifesaver. I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself if she wasn’t there to calm me down every step of the way.
Castor’s face pops up in my mind’s eye again. He was disappointed with himself when he saw me shaking. That’s what his softened expression meant. Now that I’m thinking clearly, I’m almost sure of it. He really thought his macho sadistic punishment was a gift.
I’m not a mafia killer, you idiot.
