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“That’s right, maybe a good spanking,” Jo added, waggling her eyebrows.
“Oh my God.” Kelsie dropped her face into her hands as it grew hotter than the damn Florida sun. “You guys…”
More hollers and whistles followed her as she practically fled the clubhouse. She’d never had friends like these people. The kind who were all up in each other’s business and had no problem commenting on each other’s sex lives. Not that she had a sex life. Despite their teasing, she only planned to have a conversation with Ty tonight. They needed to clear the air, and that was more important than her awakening libido.
Maybe, if he didn’t freak out at her uninvited arrival, and he seemed open to it, she’d be brave enough to try for another kiss.
But that was as far as it’d go. Her desire might be coming back online, but the reality was different. She couldn’t handle the humiliation of a panic attack if they tried for more, and it triggered a flashback.
Her stomach swooped.
This was a terrible idea. She opened her mouth to call the entire thing off when Liv slid her arm through Kelsie’s.
“Spec will meet us outside.” She pulled Kelsie out the door into the warm night air, then stopped on the porch. “Look, we are a loud bunch, and we get carried away easily, but we mean well and love you lots. There is no pressure here. You can return to your room, and none of us will think any less of you. There is no pressure to do anything.”
She almost took the out. It would have been easier to run back to her room and hide away until the nerves passed and returned to her comfort zone.
But the more time she spent with the Handlers, the more she wanted what so many of them had.
A true partner.
Someone who loved her and she could love with her heart and body. That probably wasn’t going to be Ty. He’d made it clear he didn’t view her in that way, but she knew for certain he at least found her attractive. She’d felt the evidence when she’d climbed on him.
Most importantly, she trusted he wouldn’t hurt her and would stop if she asked.
So, even if she humiliated herself, maybe she needed to take this first step if she ever wanted to find something special like Liv and Spec had.
“No,” she said, straightening her shoulders. “I need to do this. For me.”
Liv squeezed her arm in a hug. “Proud of you. You’re one tough chick.”
“Doesn’t always feel like it.” Especially not when her insides were swirling like a summer storm.
“And yet you’re still pushing through. Strength.” Liv smiled, and Kelsie couldn’t help but return it.
Fifteen minutes later, Spec rolled his truck to a stop outside Ty’s house.
Kelsie sat frozen next to Liv, unable to open the door as she stared at the little house Ty kept so well-manicured.
“Hon,” Liv said in a soft voice that still made her jump.
“Sorry. I’m just…”
A smooth hand squeezed hers. “No worries. Our situations are different, but I understand fear and trauma.”
Kelsie turned her head to meet Liv’s gaze. Spec stayed quiet, letting his ol’ lady have the floor. “How did you get over it?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m over it. I don’t know if you ever get over it completely. But each day gets a little easier and a little brighter. Time helped, and my chosen family really made the difference.” She smiled at her ol’ man. “But mostly this guy.” She leaned back against Spec, who turned her way and wound an arm around her as he kissed her neck.
That. Kelsie wanted that so badly, and she’d never get it if she didn’t take this first step.
She gripped Liv’s hand in return. “Thank you for the pep talk.”
“Any time, sweetie.”
“He’s sitting outside in his backyard,” Spec said as he gazed at Ty’s quiet house.
Liv tilted her head up and frowned at her ol’ man. “How do you know?”
