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Without any sort of agenda.
Smoke lifted his lips from mine and then pulled me into his arms. I snuggled against his chest.
“If there’s a chance of this working—” he said quietly, “—then we have to tell Tavy. Sooner rather than later.”
“She just got a week-long job caring for a patient out of town. I guess we should tell her when she gets back.”
It terrified me. Not only because it meant being honest with her and letting her have her feelings, but because it meant Smoke and I were out in the open. It was the right thing to do, yet I dreaded it.
Smoke pulled me toward the couch. He sat down and then patted the spot next to him. I sat and he grasped my legs and dragged them across his lap.
“I’m fucking pissed that my father went through Tavy to try and get to me,” he said.
“Are you surprised?”
“No. I can still be pissed about it though. He should’ve called me.”
“Would you have taken his call?”
He looked at me. “Yeah, okay. Fair point.”
I smiled.
“I don’t want him to hurt her,” Smoke said quietly.
“You mean, you don’t want him to reject her the way he rejected you all those years ago.”
“Now whose turn is it to be astute?”
“Smoke, he already rejected her. I mean when her mother was pregnant, your parents said they didn’t want anything to do with her. So, she grew up without them. That’s their loss, not hers. What’s this really about? Are you worried your father hasn’t changed? Are you worried that he’s just trying to pull you back into a life you’re no longer part of?”
“People don’t change.”
“They don’t?”
He looked at me. “You really believe people can change?”
I thought about his question for a moment and then I nodded slowly. “Yeah. I do. I believe they have to want to change, but yeah.”
“You stand behind that?”
“I do.”
“I hope you never become jaded,” he said. “Fuck.”
“You’re going to call him, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“It’ll be okay,” I said. “You want me to sit with you and hold your hand the way you did when I spoke to Knox?”
“Maybe,” he joked and then smiled. He blew out a puff of air. “It would be easier not to call. It’s been so long already. I could just let this go. Move on with my life. Wait for news of his death.”
“If you don’t call, you might regret it later. You don’t have to open the door all the way, but maybe leave it cracked and see what happens. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
I leaned forward and kissed him. “You want to stay the night? The whole night?”
