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I was in a vacuum of time and space. My heart pumped like a rabid animal in the wild. My hands slipped in Smoke’s blood as I slowly watched his face turn wan.
Voices whooshed near me and suddenly I heard everything around me again.
“Ma’am. Ma’am! We need you to move so we can take care of him. We have to take him to the hospital right now.”
Firm hands gripped my arms and attempted to pull me away. I screamed and refused to withdraw my palms from Smoke’s injuries.
“My hands are going to take the place of yours,” the EMT said. “You have to move.”
“Logan.”
Jazz’s voice registered and I reluctantly took my hands off Smoke. They were covered in his blood.
Jazz grasped my arm and helped me to stand. A noise of distress left her lips. I looked at her and wanted to assure her.
“It’ll be okay,” I said. “Smoke will be okay.”
Jazz shook her head and pointed to me. “You’re bleeding.”
I looked down and saw the blood on my thighs.
Chapter 43
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My eyelids fluttered open. I was curled up on my side in the fetal position.
The door to the hospital room opened and a nurse came in. Her smile was as bright as the pink and blue patterned scrubs she wore. Her brown ponytail was high and bouncy.
“Good morning, sugar,” she greeted. “My name is Sharon. I’m just here to take your vitals. How are you feeling?”
I paused while I thought about the question. I settled for, “Empty.”
Her eyes saddened. “Aww, honey.”
I was too numb to cry. Even after I’d been brought into the hospital the night before and had an exam where they told me I’d miscarried, I hadn’t cried. It was as if the faucet of my feelings had been shut off in a trauma response.
They’d wheeled me into a recovery room where I’d met with the club attorney—Vance Raider—who stayed with me while I’d given my statement to the police. I’d told them about Knox’s history of violence and anger, about how I’d left him, and how he hadn’t taken no for an answer. About how he’d been about to rape me and that Smoke had saved me.
It was a miracle I’d slept at all last night, but they’d given me a powerful sedative.
“Smoke.” My voice came out a throaty growl. “Where is he? What happened to him?”
“He went into surgery last night while you were having your exam.”
“And is he…”
Sharon smiled and touched my shoulder. “You must be important to him. He’s been asking about you since the moment he woke up.”
Tears finally began to flood my eyes. “Can I see him? I need to be near him.”
“Let me pull some strings and see what I can do. He’s talking with the police right now and I don’t think you’re allowed to be in the room with him.”
I nodded in understanding.
She handed me the TV remote. “Can I get you anything?”
“A chocolate pudding?” I asked hopefully.
