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I grasped Bones’ hand and dragged him to the corner of the ballroom in hopes for some measure of privacy.
“You promised,” I accused.
“Promised what?”
“That you wouldn’t treat me differently because of my condition.”
“Treat you—for fuck’s sake, Duchess. I’ve held back what I’ve really wanted to say.”
“Well, say it now,” I commanded.
“Here?”
“You brought this up.”
“Fine, you want the truth? The truth is, I think you took on too much and for someone who has a stress triggered condition, I think it’s a bad idea.”
“I’m not letting my condition stop me from doing what needs to be done,” I said, lifting my chin.
“So what happens? Huh? You go to the office one day and you pass out from stress? And then you’re out of commission for days? What then?”
“I’ll deal with it.”
Bones sighed and dropped his hand. He shoved his fists into his pockets. “We shouldn’t be having this talk here.”
“No, we shouldn’t,” I agreed.
“But we need to have this conversation,” he insisted.
“I know.” A pit of anxiety settled in my stomach. “I need to use the ladies’ room.”
“I’ll go with you. I’ll wait outside.”
“No, Bones,” I protested. “I need just a few minutes to myself. Please.”
He clenched his jaw but reluctantly nodded.
I kissed his cheek, enjoying the slight five o’clock shadow along his skin. I slipped out of the ballroom and wandered through the lobby. I asked the front desk agent to point the direction of the restroom.
As I wandered down the hallway, my mind churned over everything Bones had said. I’d never once been angry at myself for my condition. It was what it was. But for the first time since my episodes began to occur, I resented the hell out them. I hated that my body wouldn’t cooperate. I hated that I was weaker than everyone else. I watched what I ate, I didn’t drink alcohol or caffeine. I limited my stress—what I could control, anyway, and still my body failed me.
Was having a baby even a good idea? Not only would it put stress onto my body—my weak, insufficient body—but would Bones ever trust my capability as a mother? He didn’t want to leave me alone even now, afraid that I might have an episode and faint.
Will he ever trust me with our child?
The restroom was empty, and I plunked down onto the black couch as my thoughts continued to swirl out of control.
Maybe I was selfish. For wanting to have a baby with Bones. For wanting to take on this role in my father’s company. But I meant what I’d said. I was tired of sitting on the sidelines, watching my life pass me by. I’d already lost too much time to grief.
It’s time to live.
With a sigh, I stood up and went to the sink. I was rummaging through my clutch for my lipstick when I heard the restroom door open behind me.
I turned to smile at the newcomer.
My face froze when I saw a pistol pointed directly at my head.
In a flash, time stopped and I noticed so many things about him.
