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I’d been running on fumes since Hayden had been brought to the hospital, but now that she was safe, I allowed Ramsey to drive. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the seat. I slept the entire way to the clubhouse, only waking when Ramsey turned off the main road onto the dirt one that lead to the clubhouse gates.
The prospects opened the gates and we drove through.
“Sure you don’t want to stay and have a drink?” I asked. “You’ve earned it.”
“Can’t,” he said. “Have to get to The Rex. And if I stay and have a drink, I’m liable to fall asleep for a few days.”
I clapped his hand in mine. “Thank you for your help. Are you finally ready to tell me why you offered?”
Ramsey explained what he needed.
I nodded. “I’ll be in touch when I have some information.”
“Appreciate it.”
I climbed out of the car and headed up the front porch steps. I was running hot despite the cool autumn temperature. I was covered in blood, my knuckles were bruised, and I was in desperate need of a shower.
My phone beeped. It was a message from Charlie telling me that Hayden slept through the night and had no nightmares. Marilyn had taken first watch and then Charlie took the second. Hayden was on some heavy painkillers that had knocked her out—but I was glad she’d slept soundly. She’d had enough real-life nightmares. She didn’t need them in her sleep, too.
I opened the front door of the clubhouse, expecting to find it empty at this hour, but Raze was sitting on the couch having a cup of coffee. He took one look at me and nodded.
“It’s done, then?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s done.”
“Why don’t you look relieved?” he asked.
“Aside from the fact that I’m covered in this shit?” I moved past the couch toward the stairs. “I’m gonna shower.”
“What aren’t you telling me, brother?”
I paused and looked at him over my shoulder. “What wouldn’t I be telling you?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know. But I do know you’re keeping something to yourself when you have that look on your face.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Fuck you,” he said lightly. “What wouldn’t I understand?”
When I didn’t reply, his expression cleared.
“Oh. You think it has to go down like that?”
“Yeah Raze, I do.”
Raze rubbed a thumb along his jaw. “You sure that’s what you want to do? I mean, really sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You don’t think you can have both?” he asked. “It has to be one or the other?”
“One or the other. You gonna try and talk me out of it?”
He frowned. “We’ve been through it. You, me, Smoke, Kelp…Viper. Does that not mean anything to you?”
“It means everything,” I said quietly. “But there’s something that means more.”
It was late morning when I pulled my motorcycle into the driveway. My steps were heavy with exhaustion as I punched in the door code. I quickly silenced the alarm and waited to hear movement from the living room. But no one came to greet me.
