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Decklan’s been close to the perfect husband. The one I always wanted him to be. So sweet, so caring and attentive. But is it too late for us? I don’t fucking know. I wish I had a magic crystal ball to answer that question.
Sitting on my bed, I open the laptop and click on the video of Kid and me. I don’t play it, I just stare at the cover photo of him. No! I slam the laptop closed and call the club to cancel my date with Ice tonight.
If Deck’s going to try this hard, maybe I should meet him halfway.
When Decklan comes through the kitchen door carrying a bouquet of multicolored roses, my heart warms.
“Julia, for you.” He holds the flowers for me and I take them in hand.
“Thank you, D.” I walk to the cabinet where I keep the vase for flowers and bring it out. Before placing the flowers in the vase, I turn and lean against the counter. “Deck,” I say.
“Yes, my queen.” He walks over to me and drapes his arm over my shoulders.
“I cancelled my book club tonight. How about that date?” I ask, tilting my head up, catching his sparkling green eyes.
His lips curve upward and he grabs my hands. “Yes. Where do you want to go?”
Thinking we should take things slowly, I say, “How about dinner at the steakhouse across town, then back here for some us time?”
“Sounds perfect, Juls. Let me take a quick shower.” Stepping back, he scans my body and whistles. “You’re beautiful.” He cups my cheeks, then leans down and brushes my lips softly.
“Thank you, D. Go take your shower.” I turn his body and give him a gentle shove toward our bedroom.
While he’s in the shower, I go to our bedroom and remove the two long pillows I’d placed between us. We never slept in separate bedrooms. I always had hope that our marriage would survive.
“Julia!” Decklan bellows from the bathroom.
I rush toward the closed door when he swings it open. I nearly smack into him as he stands before me with a towel wrapped around his waist.
His hand is open and extended toward me. “What are these contacts doing on the vanity?”
Fuck me! I must have forgotten to put them away. I swallow hard and step several steps back from him. My eyes dart around the room. My mind spins, trying to find an explanation. I suck in a deep breath, then blow it out as I drag my hand through my hair.
Deciding to tell Decklan the truth, I sit on the side of our bed and clasp my hands in my lap. “They’re my contacts I wear. D…” I stop and think about my words again.
Sitting beside me, he places his hands on my shoulders and turns me to him. “You’re them.” He holds up the black contact first. “You’re Pussy Queen. These are her eyes.” He holds the iridescent one up next. “And you’re Icy Princess. I’d never seen shimmering eyes before I saw her at the club that night when I looked down…” He stops speaking.
“Yes, Decklan. I am them. But let me explain.” Then it hits me. He said he saw her when he ‘looked down.’ “You’re him, the Voyeur.” I realize in that moment we both lied to one another.
My book club and his basketball game were both ruses that we told each other so we could escape to wonderland. So we could live out our pain and fantasies under aliases and masks.
“Julia. Yes. I am the Voyeur. But it’s just watching. I never touched anyone there. Only myself. I swear. I stopped going a while ago though. I wanted to work on us. Be with just you.”
She takes my hands in hers and pinches them softly. “It’s okay. I believe you. But now you know I’ve cheated on our marriage. Decklan, that day I caught you in your office—”
I tug my hand free and wave it back and forth. “No, Juls. I didn’t cheat on you that day. I swear. I was watching porn on my laptop and trying to jerk off. Trying and failing. But you naturally thought someone was in my office with me. And I know that’s why you went to the club. To find a man or two, to take care of you. I get it. I deserve to be cheated on.” I cup her cheeks and lift her face upward.
Her blue eyes are glassy and when she blinks, tears spill out over the brims of her sad eyes. I wipe her cheeks dry and say, “Clean slate? Let’s put all of this behind us and start over.”
She pulls back from me and shakes her head from side to side. Quietly, she says, “Decklan, I don’t want to stop seeing them.” She lifts her head upward and glances at me.
I take a moment and remember; I’d promised her I’d do anything for her, and I meant it. Standing, I reach for her hand and tug her up to me. I wrap my arms around her small frame and whisper against her hair. “You don’t have to. Let’s go to Club Wonderland together. I want to meet them.”
Julia gasps as she frees herself from my embrace. Her eyes are the size of saucers as she blinks rapidly. “Really, D? You’d be with me and Kid and Ice. Together, all of us?”
“I’ll do anything for you, baby. I love you.” I pull her back into me, lifting her chin with my finger. Our eyes meet. Hers sparkle like I’ve not seen in a long time. Leaning down, I kiss Julia passionately, slipping my tongue between her soft lips. It’s been way too long since I’ve kissed my wife like this.
I’m stunned by Decklan’s suggestion we go to the club together. I know he said he’d do anything for me, but I never expected this.
