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Her face breaks into a full grin. “The funniest part about this is that I do not doubt that you’veneverused a mop.”
“You know, they make robots that clean hard surface floors.”
She weighs my apples. “You know, if my boss could afford a robot, I wouldn’t be begging you to take this part-time job.”
“Have you done that yet?”
Glancing up from the register, Scottie narrows her eyes. “Done what?”
“Begged me?”
Her smile fades. “I thought about it. But that was a long time ago.”
It’s like a sky full of clouds covering my sunshine. Who is this woman before me, radiating less warmth and more of an air of melancholy?
“Scottie—”
“Can you be here tomorrow at five for training?” She recovers so quickly that I question if the sad expression is hers or just a reflection of mine.
“I can.”
She inflates with a big smile on her next breath. “Really? You’re going to do this?”
I hand her cash. “How else can I contribute to society while simultaneously standing up for human equality?”
I swear she looks ready to burst with excitement, but she swallows hard and clears her throat. “Thank you, Price. I’m happy for both of us.”
I hug my bag of groceries. “Me too. It’s such a win-win.”
Her mask slips, and she acknowledges my sarcasm with a tiny eye-roll. It feeds my smile. Who am I kidding? It feeds my fucking soul.
“Later.”
“See you tomorrow,” she singsongs.
As soon as I exit the store, I blow out a long breath. This is a terrible idea. Evenings and mornings are not my best times, but she didn’t ask for a one-to-three shift. Maybe I can renegotiate my schedule with her tomorrow.
When I arrive home, my Legos await me. They’re unfinished, just like my life.
“Goddamn.” I wince, rubbing my lower back. I’m so tired today. The good days outnumber the bad ones, but the bad ones pack a punch.
Feel everything.
I shower, switching the water to straight cold for five minutes at the end. Shivering, I swipe the towel over my hair a few times before blotting my body and hobbling to the bed. Tugging on the neatly tucked sheets, I wrap them around my body, teeth chattering, heart pounding. I question if I’ve ever been in control of my life or if I’ve simply stacked the odds in my favor.
This is what it feels like to let go of control. Letting go of fear isn’t as easy.
Closing my eyes, I blow out a slow breath. “There’s nothing to fear.”
Feel everything.
CHAPTER FIVE
TIMING IS NOTHING, IF NOT EVERYTHING.
Scottie
“Hello?”Koen answers on the third ring. He sounds distracted—short and a little out of breath.
