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“You’ve met my grandpa. The Sikes men are never boring.”
“Just awkward and creepy.”
He smirks. “Exactly.”
We get our lamb balls and hummus to go and return to my place with the unfinished puzzle.
I can’t stop thinking about the kiss, but I also can’t stop thinking about Price Milloy in the building just outside my trailer. I’ve been perfectly content with my stagnant love life for years, and in a matter of weeks, I have two men in my life who evoke powerful emotions.
“Is something wrong with your food?” Koen asks while I stare at my wrap.
I quickly shake my head. “No. I was just thinking about the new employee.”
“Do you want to check on them?”
I take a bite of my wrap. Do I want to check on Price? No. He’s fine. I know him too well. “The new employee is a man I dated years ago when I lived in Philadelphia.”
Koen eyes me, pausing his chewing for a second. “Oh.”
Yes, “oh” is the best response.
“Did he reply to a job listing?”
“No. I gave him a job he didn’t want or ask for.”
Koen continues eating. No more questions. No visible response.
“He showed up out of nowhere. We went to dinner to catch up. And when he came into the store again, I suggested he work part-time.”
Koen reaches for a puzzle piece, sliding it into place.
I don’t have to tell him anything, but I like him. And I don’t know what Price coming back into my life means. Something’s off with Price, and I think he needs something from me, but I don’t know what it is, and I’m afraid to ask.
“Did you offer him a job because you need help or want to ensure you see him more often?” Koen briefly glances at me. He seems a little uneasy.
“I don’t own the general store, but I run it. And I’m the only employee. So yeah, I need a little help so I can go to Home Depot with men who pull me from ponds.”
A grin touches his lips before he resumes eating.
“But I’d be lying if I said I don’t enjoy seeing him. He made me rethink my life when I felt conflicted. My friends were in college. And my sister was engaged. And on top of that, my parents were waiting for me to figure out what I wanted to be in life. It was just a summer but the best summer of my life.”
With a thoughtful glance, Koen swallows and clears his throat. “What happened?”
That’s a complicated question I don’t have the answer to.
“He continued with his schooling, eyes set on conquering the world. And I ran as far in the opposite direction as possible. I didn’t want to conquer the world; I wanted to exist in it as peacefully as possible. Goals felt like fifty-pound weights on my chest. I’m sure most people use goals to move them forward, but I couldn’t handle the pressure of waking up each morning with the same goal. After all, what happens when you stop chasing it? Are you a quitter?”
“So if you don’t set goals, you can’t be a quitter?”
I laugh a little. “Are you regretting the kiss? A woman in her thirties who has no goals, doesn’t own a home, has never been married, and works at a general store. Is there a voice in your head saying you can do better?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “Are you content?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “I like the moment. I’m passionate about the moment. And sometimes I feel like I know a secret that everyone else is working themselves to death to figure out.”
“And what is that?” He stuffs his wrapper into the sack.
“We’re here to enjoy life. To enjoy each other. We don’t know how long we’ll be here, so why chase anything? And I’m not saying that goals are bad, that chasing something is bad if you’re passionate about it.”
