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“I need a minute.” I hold up a finger.
My reply only intensifies his anguish. Koen’s heart is out of his chest, in his hand, and he’s offering it to me. He struggles to keep from deflating, but he returns a single nod.
“Take all the time you need. I’m going to head home and walk Scrot.” He squeezes my hand while pressing a chaste kiss to mymouth. “Goodnight.” When he reaches the door, he sighs. It’s locked, and the key is on the counter.
“You’re leaving before I’m done thinkin’?” I step around the counter as he turns back toward me. My lips twist. “I thought about it. And I don’t know if anything in life goes as planned, but if making love, babies, and a life with you is even a potential plan, I’m in.Is there any better way to live in the moment than to experience life through the eyes of a child?” Tears well in my eyes like I’m seeing my dream for the first time. A flood of emotion fills my veins and takes my breath away. I think of the women who have come into the store holding their babies and how I’ve longingly looked at them without consciously allowing myself to desire that life because of fear.
Fear that I can’t have it.
But what if I can?
“I want that life, Koen,” I whisper, wiping my face. “I think you marrying me is the best idea in the history of all ideas.”
Koen grins a knocked-it-out-of-the-park grin. He takes two long strides to reach me, lifts me off my feet in a big hug, and kisses the life out of me while twirling me in a circle.
I giggle as he sets me back on my feet. “Let’s go to my trailer. I’ll come back and mop the floor later.” My hand slides beneath his shirt, teasing the waistband of his briefs.
He grabs my wrist. “Whoa. I thought we were waiting until marriage.”
“It was just a suggestion. Herb doesn’t have to know.”
“Know what?” He narrows his eyes.
“That we’ve had sex.” I tug at the button on his jeans. Maybe we can slide into the back room and get creative.
Koen steps away from me and buttons his jeans. “We haven’t had sex.”
I laugh.
He doesn’t. Not even the hint of a grin.
“Is this how you’re playing it?” I cross my arms.
He shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“When’s the wedding? Tomorrow?”
“Of course not. I haven’t met your parents and properly asked your father for your hand in marriage.”
Again, we have a silent stare-off.
“Fine.” I lift my chin, pulling my shoulders back. “It doesn’t matter to me. I can take it or leave it.”
“You’re a thirty-one-year-old virgin. What’s another six months to a year?”
Don’t react!
He’s baiting me. He’s going to make it halfway to his truck, turn around, and ravage me with his naked body.
“I don’t know if I’ll even like sex. So, yeah. What’s six months to a year?” I flash my teeth and bat my eyelashes.
Koen kisses me on my forehead. “Oh, you’ll like it. Night.” He exits through the back door.
I wait. Any minute now.
And I wait.
Then I see his truck drive past the front of the store.
