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Jess
Irefused to let the tears fall as I practically ran down the corridor and down the steps, my boots tapping the stone like rain pattering a window. I wouldn’t give Torq the satisfaction of making me cry, even if he couldn’t see me. I would know, and I would not let him get the best of me. Would not let him win.
He thought this was all a game, and I was someone who could be toyed with? Well, like he’d said, I could play games with the best of them, and if he wanted to pretend like we were just a bit of fun, then I’d play along. Aside from Morgan, no one had a clue about us, and she wouldn’t tell anyone. Especially once I told her that it was over.
Over. I swallowed hard as a lump lodged in my throat. I’d never imagined that I’d be upset that my deal with Torq was done. Since it had started as blackmail that I’d reluctantly agreed to, I hadn’t thought that it could have turned into something that I would miss.
I scoffed at this. “Miss that jerk? As if.”
I didn’t make eye contact with a pair of cadets as I hurried across the open-air bridge toward the female tower, keeping my head down so they wouldn’t notice the tears threatening to fall despite my assurances to myself that I didn’t care.
This was exactly why I’d never gotten involved with a guy before now. I’d known that it wouldn’t be anything but a distraction that ended in heartbreak. That’s what it had been for every girl I’d known back home who’d fallen for a bad boy. They’d bought the pretty lies and believed that he wasn’t as bad an everyone else claimed, and they all ended up betrayed, broken-hearted, and in most cases, knocked up.
“At least that part won’t happen to me.”
One of the advantages to Drexian society and advanced tech was the fact that males had birth-control implants. Being pregnant was not part of the plan. Not that hooking up with a total asshat had been, but I needed to count my meager blessings.
I didn’t slow when I reached the tower and started climbing the winding stairs, taking them two at a time until I’d reached my floor and was sucking in breath. Now that I’d almost exhausted myself, I’d lost the urge to burst into tears. Now I wasn’t hurt. Now I was mad.
Who the hell did he think he was? I’d tutored him in stupid Kronock, even when he didn’t need to study the alien language so much. I’d checked on him when he was hurt. I’d worried about him. I’d stood there and taken his father’s superior bullshit when I should have told him to go fuck himself.
Now that I wasn’t with Torq, I thought of a million brilliant responses and comebacks. Of course. I could barely speak when I was standing in front of him but now that I was halfway across the academy, I was brimming with snappy retorts. I had half a mind to stomp back over and unleash them on him.
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I care enough to come up with snarky put-downs.”
“That’s the spirit.”
I jumped when Morgan poked her head from her doorway. “How did you beat me back here? How did you get away from Tivek?”
She inclined her head at me. “You mean after you faked a headache and left me?”
“Sorry.” I winced. “I thought you’d be right behind me. Did you get in trouble?”
“For what? Hanging out in the map room? Talking about finding a Drexian for a fling?”
I guess she was right. We weren’t breaking any rules aside from being painfully late to class, and the academy didn’t babysit cadets. If you missed class, you dealt with the repercussions. “What was he doing in Strategy, anyway?”
“No idea. He didn’t say, but I get the feeling he’s the eyes and ears of the admiral.”
Then I sincerely hoped he didn’t hear much of our conversation. The last thing I needed was to be called in to the admiral’s office to explain why I was banging a fellow cadet or why I wasn’t banging him anymore. That was a topic I’d rather not discuss with anyone.
“So, what were you saying about snarky comments?” Morgan eyed me. “And why do you look like you would love to strangle someone?”
I glanced around the empty floor, noting that all the other doors were closed. “Remember how I told you that I was involved with Torq? Well, I’m not anymore.”
Her gaze darkened. “His choice?”
I nodded, my throat suddenly tight and my eyes burning.
She pulled me into a hug that was so fierce I could barely breathe. “I would say that the best revenge is living well, but in this case the best revenge will be beating his ass in the battle of the schools. I know Blades are at a disadvantage with the late start but that doesn’t mean it won’t be just as sweet when they lose.”
I tried to summon some of her righteous satisfaction, but I couldn’t suppress the sadness that bubbled up and made it hard to speak. I’d waited so long, and I’d thought that I was being smart about who to trust, but I’d ended up being just another dumb girl who fell for a handsome face and some sweet lies. I’d been so sure I was smarter than that, but I wasn’t. My entire sense of self wobbled as I second-guessed my judgment and street smarts, both of which I’d always believed I had in spades. Losing that hurt as much as anything.
I managed to nod as Morgan pulled away, but she gave me a shrewd look. “Don’t give the guy a second thought. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see how amazing you are, and I’m prone to think he’s a bit of an idiot anyway.”
I bit back the urge to defend him. Torq wasn’t stupid but he also wasn’t mine to defend. He never had been. “Thanks, girl.”
“It’s the truth. You’re way too good for him.”
