Page 64 of Permanently Pucked


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"Well, Dani too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for all of this, Crew. You’re a lot younger than them. You have to do what’s right for you. Especially if the baby isn’t yours."

I told my mother I thought it was more likely Michael is the biological father because of the timing of my injury simply because I didn’t want her to somehow be disappointed if we find out it’s not mine. I was trying to get ahead of it. I know my parents will treat any child I consider mine as a grandchild, but I still wanted them to at least be prepared so they could manage their emotions. Now I’m regretting saying anything because my own mother is hinting I can bail on my relationship.

"You know that Dani will be okay, right? Better than okay. Nathan and Michael are wonderful and they’ll be there for her. She’ll always have anything and everything she needs. You don’t have to stay. I know you love her, but you don’t have to stay out of guilt or because you feel like she needs you."

I watch my mother as she speaks. She seems uncomfortable which is interesting.

I should be the uncomfortable one. She’s basically telling me I can leave Dani. That everyone would be fine. But I frown as my mom shifts on her chair and won’t meet my eyes.

"Mom," I say, reaching out and grabbing her hand. "What is going on? What the hell are you talking about?"

She sighs. "I have to give you this. No one else will say it."

"Say what?"

She does meet my eyes now. She squeezes my hand. "That you don’t have to stay. That you’re a wonderful man and we know you love Dani, but that this all got really big and serious really fast and we would all understand if you changed your mind."

My eyes widen. I don’t know how to feel about this other than shocked. "You would be okay with that?"

She shrugs. "We’d be sad. We love Dani and Nathan and Michael. We’re excited about the baby. We want a family for you, if that's what you want and only when you’re ready. We support you. Whatever you decide. I want you to know that. I don’t want you to feel like you got…stuck."

I study her face. This is my mother. No matter how happy she is about the baby, no matter how much she adores Dani and the guys, she’s my mom and she’s giving me her unconditional support.

That’s amazing.

And misplaced. And I need to let her know that so she can be fully happy and embrace everything that’s happening. I feel bad that my family has had some doubts and haven’t fully let themselves get caught up because they weren’t sure of me.

In that moment, I’m one-thousand percent sure of all of it.

All of us.

"Mom. I love you. I love that you’re concerned about me. And I’m so sorry I haven’t made it crystal clear to everyone that I’m in. One-hundred percent. These are my people. This is my child. I know everyone is a little confused because I wasn’t ready to get married, and hell, I confused myself a little. It was all fast and maybe I did feel like I was getting swept along. I needed to stop and take a breath, focus on the playoffs, then really figure out where my head and heart were. What I figured out is that there is no world I want to live in that doesn’t include Danielle, Nathan, and Michael." My throat feels tight and I’ve crumpled a napkin into a little ball. "I choose them. Every day I will be choosing them." I take a breath. "I can picture a future without hockey but I can’t picture a future without them."

She nods slowly, the corner of her mouth turning up. "Good," she says, softly. "I just wanted to make sure. You’re going to be an amazing father."

Without warning, there are tears in my eyes. "I want this baby so much."

"Oh, Crew." Her other hand covers mine. "I’m so proud of you."

"I’m going to propose to Dani. The timing feels right now."

Her eyes widen. "Do the guys know?"

"Yes. They’re helping me plan it."

She shoves her chair back and comes over to me. I stand up and let her hug me tightly. I hug her back. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, sweetheart. This is wonderful news. Now I will officially have another daughter and two more sons, plus a grandbaby. Our family just keeps getting bigger and bigger."

On cue, Luna and Alexsei come through the back gate from the driveway, Coach Phillips and Cam hot on their heels. Luna has a giant floppy hat on and sunglasses. "The party is here!" my sister declares.

In my opinion, the party has already started.

Cookie & Co.

CHAPTER 17

Sammy the Malamute

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