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Get your head in the game, Mari.
Unwinding myself from my chair, I stood, then hesitated. I still had Nate’s hand gripped in both of mine, and I didn’t want to let go. I felt like if I left him alone for even a single second, he would leave me too, just like everyone else.
“I’ll stay,” Dominic whispered, replacing my hand with his. “I won’t leave him.”
It should have looked funny, the two of them sitting there holding hands when I would barely consider them friends, but it looked like family. My family. What would I be like if I lost Nate? With that part of my heart dead, would I still be able to love Dominic and Greyson the same way? Would I be able to be whole with them if that part of me that Nate brought out was missing?
I didn’t think so.
If one of them died in this godforsaken war, I would never be the same, and we would all suffer for it.
“Let’s go,” I croaked, letting Greyson escort me to the door. It was a fight not to look back every other step, but his hard grip on my hand kept me grounded.
The second we walked out the door, I buried everything Nate-related in my head. I couldn’t be his girlfriend right now. She hadn’t called her uncle.
The queen had.
We met Rafael at the same entrance we’d come in, and before he had a chance to breathe my air, I threw a punch that rocked him into the wall.
“What the fuck was that for?”
“That was for taking your fucking time,” I snapped. “Do you have it?”
Rafael arranged his face like he was going to try to placate me, manipulate me, and I lost it. I lunged for him, shoving him against the wall until we were nose to nose.
“Do you understand what happened today? I nearly died again. One of the men I love is in a hospital bed because of Cash. Because of you.”
“I didn’t set the bomb,” he argued.
But the fact that he knew about it when I knew no one had called him told me everything. Uncle Rafael hadn’t been hunting Cash like we suspected; he’d been following us. Me.
He could’ve had Cash followed too, but I doubted the psycho was his priority. I was. Had Grey not been there, would Rafael have dug us out or stayed hidden to save his own skin? I didn’t know, and I no longer trusted his answers.
“You may not have known about the bomb, but your information could have ended things before they ever got this far. You should’ve given it to us months ago, but you didn’t, and now here we are.”
“I didn’t have any control over that,” Rafael ground out.
“Fuck your excuses!” I roared. “I lost people today. My boyfriend nearly died. What do you think would have happened if he had? Do you think I would have allowed you to live? No. I would have welcomed the Wolf into this city just so that he could burn the place down around my ears. Do you understand?
“I don’t care about power, I care about my people. My family. And you, who was supposed to be part of that, couldn’t give me the one thing I needed to protect them because you were scared of hurting Daddy’s feelings.”
“I understand that you’re upset, but it isn’t like that.”
“Isn’t it? You told me I wasn’t what I could’ve been if I’d grown up with you. I wasn’t a black widow. You were wrong. If Nate dies because you’ve been jerking us around, I’ll kill you too. Wolf be damned.”
“He’ll gut you.”
My laugh was hollow and empty. “I’ll already be dead.”
Because I couldn’t lose Nate. I couldn’t lose Dominic or Grey either. They were the pieces of me that clung to humanity, to love. If I lost them, I lost me too, and the Mari who would rise after wouldn’t give a fuck about anything but revenge.
Warning issued, I eased back, giving him enough room to breathe. “Where is the information?”
Rafael stared at me for a long time, looking at me as if he was finally seeing me for the first time. Maybe he was. Osorio-raised or not, I was a Marcosa. I was a queen.
And I was really fucking pissed.
Finally, he pulled a file from the bag at his feet and held it out. I reached for it, only for him to grab my wrist before I could pull away.
