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She looked like she wanted to hit me. Good.
“Oh, don’t take offense. I just mean that you, of all people, should know better than to believe you were the be-all and end-all of Ash’s decisions. She’s a big girl who can make her own choices.” I waved her off, negligent as ever.
It felt wrong to do it, but the poison she was shooting at me was exactly why she needed to find her balance again.
“I’m aware of that,” she gritted.
“Are you? Aislynn was always going to be a target. You said it yourself—this was always going to be her life as a mafia daughter. She knew that, and she still chose to stay. Don’t take that from her because you feel like shit that she got caught in the crossfire. Honor her choice, learn a lesson from this, and move on.”
I picked at my fingernails, watching her tense out of the corner of my eye. Mari had never liked being ignored and she’d never liked games, but what else was I supposed to do? Reason wasn’t working, so frustration was the next best thing.
“Who made you the fucking expert?” She planted her hands on her hips, and I tried not to grin. There was rage in her, sure, but fear had her mixed up inside. She needed an outlet for it before it poisoned her. I didn’t mind being her punching bag until she got herself under control again. In other circumstances, I would’ve considered it foreplay.
Now there’s an idea.
“You did.” Her lips parted, and I had to force myself to look away. They’d been the star of many a fantasy since we split, and I was almost desperate to taste them again.
Christ, I was a grown man with a near hard-on for a fucking kiss. I wasn’t sure if it was pathetic or not, but since it was Mari, I didn’t care.
“You walked away from me because I couldn’t accept that this was always going to be your life,” I reminded her. “I haven’t been idle since then. I’ve been thinking. Learning. Growing as much as I can in such a short period. The truth is, you were right. I used my guilt to ignore the facts. You were always going to be in danger. You were also going to be in power. Nothing I did could’ve changed that. Aislynn is the same.
“She’s the O’Bannon princess, baby. She was always going to be a tool. Even if you’d gotten her out, there was no guarantee that her father wouldn’t have yanked her back in when he found her again. No guarantee that she’d be safe even if he didn’t. Ash took the information she had and made the best decision for herself with it. Don’t take that away from her.”
For a moment, I thought I’d gone too far. Bringing our breakup into the conversation was a risk on a good day, and I didn’t want to hurt her any more than she already was. When she deflated, relief and success washed over me like a tidal wave.
“You were listening,” she whispered.
“I was, but it’s always easier to see things when love isn’t clouding the view. You love Aislynn like you love Shara. They’re family to you. It’s important for both of us to keep the people we love safe, but we have to remember that we can’t smother them. They’re free to make their own decisions. We’ve just got to love them through the rough patches.”
“I feel so awful.”
I crept closer, letting our shoulders brush. When she leaned into me, I threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in tight against my side. God, it felt good to hold her again, even if the circumstances were shitty. “Then listen to your friend. She told you to your face that she was fine. Trust that if she wasn’t or if she wanted a way out, she’d ask.”
She looked up at me with desperation so heavy in her eyes, it struck me like an arrow. “Will the guilt ever go away?”
The ache of it in my chest said no, but I couldn’t tell her that. I’d do anything to take it from her, but I wouldn’t lie. Not any more than I had to. “I’ll let you know when I find out.”
The house was silent around us, but I was content to stand in it with Mari. Finally, she yawned, her body listing into mine just a little, and I knew it was time for the night to end. “Come on. I’ll walk you to bed.”
Immediately, she jerked away, hands up like she was warding me off. “I can’t.”
“You need sleep.”
“I know. I just…can’t. Not yet.” She shook her head, and I didn’t like how wild her eyes got.
Looking at her harder, I realized it wasn’t just guilt making her struggle. It was adrenaline. Her body shook because she was exhausted, but she was also too wired to sleep and too stressed for her brain to shut down. She was one more bit of bad news away from a mental breakdown that none of us could afford.
As much as I wanted to, I didn’t think I could fix it. Not alone.
“Come with me.”
She stared at my outstretched hand like it was a cobra ready to bite. I didn’t take it personally, though I wanted to. “Dominic?—”
“I’ll take you to get Nate or Grey, and they can help with the crash.” I wanted to be the one to do it, but I wasn’t pushing her for the world. We needed time to rebuild the trust I’d broken, and sex was a bandage, not a cure.
Mari shook her head. “They’re busy.”
“They’ll make time.” There was no doubt in my mind. We’d all make time for whatever she needed. Mari came first.
