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With them gone, Dominic and Grey helped Tennessee remove Paul from the room. Normally, we wouldn’t move him, but we could all see something was up with Nate. He just kept staring at Paul like he was a puzzle Nate wanted to solve.
When they were gone, I pulled him into Ash’s chair and slid into his lap. Things were still so new with us that it felt a little awkward at first, especially when he made no attempt to move closer or hold me there. I was about to get up when he grabbed me around the waist and settled me firmly against his hips.
We hadn’t done much more than the shower and I was dying to get him inside me, but things kept popping up. I couldn’t walk away from my responsibilities to get laid. Especially when I wasn’t sure that Nate was ready for this. For me.
“Are you okay? I know this was a lot.” I ran a hand through his hair, trying to mimic what I liked when I was upset.
Nate snorted. “I did worse than that for the mercs.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m annoyed at Dominic.”
“Because he knocked the guy out?”
“Yes? I’m not sure.” He took a breath and ran his hands up my thighs as he thought about it. “I guess I hate that he took away my opportunity to show you what I’m made of.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I know.” He cut me off with a kind smile and pulled me so close, nothing but our breaths were keeping us apart. “I just want you to know that I’m here and I’m in this and I can be a useful part of this team, too. I’m not just your little fuckboy. I want to help protect you.”
My first instinct was to say no. When people protected me, they died, and if I lost Nate—if I lost any of my men—I didn’t think I could handle it. But his eyes told me he needed it. He needed purpose. Moving in with me, Nate had lost his identity. He wasn’t a bartender, he wasn’t a mercenary, he was just my live-in man. And even though he’d been introduced to the systems that kept my empire running, we hadn’t done anything to make it official yet.
He was in stasis, and if I wanted him to be fulfilled and happy in his role in my life, that needed to change.
“It’s a good thing we have another little birdie just for you, then,” I said, patting him on the chest. Shoving aside the part of myself that didn’t want to sully Nate, I continued. “How about you help me with the dockworker?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
As nervous as I was, the smile he gave me made it all worth it. “You’re not going to regret this.”
I knew I wouldn’t. It was Nate. I hadn’t regretted anything that had happened since we’d met, and I hoped that never changed.
Chapter Eighteen
Nate
According to Mari, one of her men, a dockworker, had been taking payouts to mess with shipments. She gave me a list of questions to go on, and that was it. I didn’t mind, though. I’d worked with less. Settling into the routine of interrogation was like putting on an old coat I hadn’t worn in a while. It felt a little stiff, but it was still the right size, the right shape. I’d once hoped I’d never put it on again, but I knew better now.
I was never going to escape being death’s hand. It was my lot in life.
Brushing off the melancholy, I set down the recording device on a tool bench near the man’s head and clicked it on. Mari hadn’t been comfortable with the idea of it at first—why would I want evidence recorded for the Feds to find, Nate? —but she’d accepted it after I explained my routine. I had to be able to go back through the information later and see if I’d missed anything. If everything checked out, the man would die quickly. I wasn’t one to drag things out unnecessarily, so as long as the information was confirmed, he’d be killed promptly. If there was something else I needed, we’d do it all over again, as many times as it took, like a fucked-up merry-go-round.
I didn’t look at the tools as I stood behind the man’s head, intentionally shuffling my feet to seem nervous. Uncomfortable. As always, he fell for it.
They always did.
“You’ve got to help me. I didn’t do anything. They’ve got the wrong guy.” He craned his neck, desperate to catch my eyes, to convince me of his innocence. “I swear, I didn’t help anybody, and I didn’t steal anything.”
Gotcha. “How did you know what we wanted to talk to you about, then?”
I saw the moment he realized his mistake. He gulped, eyes darting around the room before he came back to me. “The guys who took me mentioned it.”
Except they didn’t. “Of course.”
“I’m serious. You’ve got to help me. She’s going to kill me.”
