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“Fuck,” I gasped, shoving myself away from the body.
Jacob. His name was Jacob. I couldn’t think of him as a body. He was someone’s son. If I forgot that, I worried I’d lose my humanity for good.
“Are you back?” Mari asked cautiously.
“Stay back, mariposa,” someone commanded.
“Fuck off, Dominic,” she snapped.
Behind her, Grey held him in a choke hold, while he was nearly foaming at the mouth with Mari so close to me. I didn’t blame him.
“I’m good,” I rasped. “I’m good.”
“I know you are.” Mari’s smile settled me a little more, and I pulled her close with shaking hands, bowing my body over hers. All I could do was breathe in the smell of her hair, feel the soft puffs of her breath against my neck.
I just needed a minute to wipe away the memories. Just a minute.
When I felt more stable, I cleared my throat and pulled away, my heart warming when Mari stayed close. It was obvious in the way she watched me—head on with no ulterior motives—that she wasn’t waiting for me to break down again. She just wanted to be near. I liked that. Maybe too much.
I turned toward Jacob, grimacing at the sight of his unrecognizable face. Christ, I’d fucked up. There was nothing like abject failure to humble a man.
I was supposed to do a job for Mari, and instead, I let myself get caught up in a past that no longer mattered. I knew better than that. “Did we get anything from him?”
“Yes. You were surprisingly coherent throughout,” Greyson said, shoving Dominic behind him and stepping forward. It said a lot that he didn’t put himself between Mari and me. He trusted that I wouldn’t hurt her. I didn’t know if it was blind faith, but I appreciated it, nonetheless. Grey paced his way around Jacob’s body. “Do the flashbacks happen often?”
“Not now,” Mari admonished.
I didn’t want to be coddled, but I felt like I owed them. “No. I haven’t had a flashback in months.”
“Until you came here as my guest.” Guilt was thick in Mari’s voice, and I tried to get myself to say something, to fix it, but someone else beat me to it.
“It was bound to happen anyway, mariposa,” Dominic said, stepping close. He glared at the space between Mari and me but kept his distance, likely because he knew she wouldn’t appreciate his interference. “Some things scar you so badly, the only way to escape them is death.”
He spoke like he had firsthand experience, and I wondered if we’d ever be close enough for him to tell me. It shocked me that I hoped so. The longer I stayed with Mari and the others, the more I felt like I’d finally found the one thing I’d always craved.
A family of my own, as strange as it looked from the outside. “Do you need help with this?” I motioned to Jacob.
“No. Go clean up,” Greyson replied.
“I’ll check in on you later,” she said, coming up to give me a kiss. Blood spatter covered my hands and wrists, and it felt like it was seeping into my skin. The urge to scour myself until I was down to the final layer of epidermis rode me hard, and I couldn’t handle touching her. Letting it stain her too. I stepped away, and she sighed, the sound hitting me straight in the chest.
“You did good, Nate. We got everything we needed and more. Go shower.”
She didn’t have to tell me twice.
The second I was in my bathroom I turned the water to boiling hot and scrambled to rip off my clothes. I’d burn them the first chance I could. The second I was naked, I was in the shower, hissing as the hot water rained down on my skin, but I didn’t make a move beyond letting it burn me.
When I felt like I could move again—and the water ran clear-ish—I grabbed the washcloth and got to scrubbing. Only when I was as raw on the outside as I felt on the inside, did I get out and slip into my comfiest pair of sweats.
I knew someone had been in my room the second I opened the door. I expected Dominic, ready to beat my ass for being a threat to Mari.
Instead, I smelled popcorn.
There on my bed in nothing but a T-shirt and a pair of boxers, both mine, was Mari. Her face was clean, hair pulled back like she was ready for bed.
“What’re you doing here, angel?”
“Thought we’d watch a movie,” she said, pointing to the TV, where she was scrolling through choices.
