AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Sucking in my cheeks, I try not to think about how I only have one pair of jeans now. Most of my shirts were saved, but my jeans and khaki shorts were at the bottom where the water soaked into it overnight.
I can’t help but feel like I smell.
Momma said I don’t—that the water didn’t touch these ones. Mr. Gavin promised too. But it’s hard to forget the smell that woke me up that morning.
“We’ll get you new jeans,” Momma whispered to me last night when she was tucking me into bed. “Right after I get paid this week.”
I asked her why we had to wait. Mrs. Linda said she’d buy me some. But Momma just shook her head and said we were already inposing enough—whatever that means.
So instead I just asked if she could call Dad and see if he’d send me some. I know he would if we asked. He was always buying me stuff.
But her eyes just got all red like they do every time I bring him up, and she hugged me like she always does, assuring me we’d be okay, and figure it out, and that she loved me.
It’s stupid and it’s not fair, and I told her that. Then I pulled away from her, rolled over in the bed we were borrowin’ at Mrs. Linda’s, and dove under the covers, pretending like my eyes weren’t leaking stupid tears.
Dad wouldn’t let me go to a new school smelling like crap.
A bell rings, and a couple ladies by the door start waving everyone into the building.
On either side of where I stand frozen, there are two tall brick posts. And before me, the sidewalk leading right to the steps of the school that looms black against the blue sky.
On my right, there’s a basketball court. On my left, swing sets, a couple picnic tables, and a big tree that reminds me of the one back home that I used to climb sometimes during the summer when Momma and Dad would get in their yelling fights in the kitchen.
I’d take my comic books and my CD player up there, and disappear until either one of them found me or the sun went down and I’d have to go hide in my room instead.
Chewing my lip, I turn my head and look back down the road to where I was dropped off at the corner.
Momma’s standing outside the car now, in a yellow sundress and jean jacket, watching me. She sees me and lifts her hand, giving me a wave. Her nails are still red.
My chest gets all achy and I make a face, glaring down at the ground.
Go away, I think, squeezing my hands into fists. I’m in first grade now. I’m six and a half. Be a man. You don’t need your mommy coddlin’ you or whatever.
The music fades, switching over to the next song, and I scowl, slapping the button to restart it.
Invisible. You’re invisible…
You’re not you.
Someone brushes past me, and I flinch, hunching my shoulders. Looking up under my lashes, I see that almost everyone has made it to the doors, pushing their way in as teachers stand around, waving them all inside, smiling and patting shoulders as they pass.
It feels like my heart’s going to explode outta my ears.
I don’t wanna do this.
Still, I take one step forward, then another…another…
I am the music.
Nothing else exists.
I am?—
I stop in my tracks, frozen.
Movement in the corner of my eye has my body turning before I even realize what I’m doing.
Tilting my head, I squint through the glare, and frown.
