AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He chuckles, and the raspy, familiar sound of it has my stomach bottoming out, and butterflies taking flight. “Eh, they like each other more than they’re willing to admit. Plus we’ve got the heavy bags in the basement if someone needs to let off some steam.”
“Right,” I say with a soft chuckle.
“You’re coming home for spring break, right?”
Wincing, I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “Actually, I’m going home with Gabe for the week.”
Silence meets my words.
I clear my throat. “But…summer, I’ll be back for summer.”
A beat passes. “Yeah?”
Nodding, I say, “Yeah. Campus will be closed, so I can’t exactly stay in the dorms…”
“Right,” he whispers.
“It’s hard for me, Mase.”
Silence.
Then, “I know. Trust me, I know. I just…I miss you, JJ.”
And the question sits on the tip of my tongue: Me…or do you miss who I remind you of?
But I keep it to myself. Instead, I say, “I miss you too.”
“Do you?”
Eyes wide, I look around my dorm room. Gabe’s not here, thankfully. He’s the worst when I’m on the phone with Mason—not that I answer Mason’s calls all that often—making kissy faces and wagging his brows.
It’s a joke at this point… well, the shit he gives me is. My feelings… not so much, even if some days it feels like one big practical joke.
But Gabe knows how complicated it is. He knows just talking to Mason feels like torture sometimes. So I can’t really fault him for making light of something so messed up. It’s…nice, to not be treated with kid gloves for once. If I ever told him to stop, I know he would, but to be honest?
It’s fucking nice to have someone who knows, and doesn’t pity me for it.
It’s nice to have a friend outside of all the shit back in Shiloh, who I can vent to. A friend that is mine and only mine, and knows how hard it can be growing up gay in a small town. Though he didn’t have it nearly as bad as I did.
“Y-yeah,” I finally manage to scrape out. “Of course I do.”
“Because…”
“Because what?”
“If you don’t—I mean, if you’d rather not come back to Shiloh, I-I’d understand. I just…I wish I could at least visit you.”
Wincing, I rub my sternum and say, “I know. I’m sor?—”
“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay. College is your thing.”
Eyes burning, I say, “Yeah.” It’s not the first time it’s come up—him wanting to visit….the fact I haven’t gone back to Shiloh since I left…
There’s this wall I’ve put up between my life here on campus, and the one back in Shiloh, and I don’t even think I realized how tall and daunting I made it until he brought it up just now.
“You won’t even FaceTime me,” he says, forcing a laugh that sounds wrong even to my own ears.
“Mase…”
