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A, hey there, look at me, do you get it now? Do you see? Are you listening?
And all I can think is?—
He’s wrong.
He’s so fucking wrong.
The sky is black, and so, so vast, and yet for once, I can see it all—see what’s been hiding behind the stars I resented for years. Stars I let myself be blinded by.
When he rips his lips from mine, pulling himself away, I lurch forward, hands clawed at the space he just occupied, desperate to chase after them—to not lose this…this rush of realization slowly bubbling over, consuming me, pulling me down into its uncharted depths.
Wide owlish amber eyes meet mine, flaring even wider at whatever expression is on my face. I can only imagine how rabid I look right now, chest heaving, teeth bared, eyes pleading.
His cheeks are flushed, and his lips are red—swollen.
He licks them, and I find myself doing the same to mine.
“That’s why,” he whispers near-inaudibly, his lips hardly moving.
Frowning, I shake my head. What?—
His lip ticks up curiously, ruefully, and he says, “I can almost believe…”
It feels like a boulder drops on my chest. “Jer.” His name croaks out of me.
He gives his head a little shake, warding me off with a hand. “Thank you,” he says, forcing a small smile, like we weren’t just attacking each other’s mouths a second ago.
Thank you?
“We’ll have today,” he says. “And then I’m gone.”
And with that, he turns on his heel, and heads back to join the others.
For a long moment, all I can do is stand there, staring at his retreating figure, wondering what the fuck just happened. And why I suddenly feel like…like I can’t breathe, and not because I’m crashing from some adrenaline rush, on the verge of a panic attack?—
But because…
He is wrong. That kiss confirmed as much.
There is something here…something raw and fragile and foreign, yet…not. Like a forgotten memory, I just have to polish off. There has to be…I can’t be so fucked in the head that I created all of this—all of that—out of nothing.
Out of a void.
He is the void.
Him.
Jeremy.
He’s what’s been missing all along…
What I’ve been chasing.
Right in front of my fucking face.
But it doesn’t matter now, does it?
There’s nothing I can do to convince him.
