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That’s why he looked away.
Why his cheeks were red.
He’s embarrassed.
He pities me.
Fortunately, this time, Izzy doesn’t try to change Waylon’s mind, or insist we all keep playing. They decide to watch a movie instead, and as if finally freed of the chains that were keeping me here throughout the game, nothing holds me back from making my escape.
Without a word to anyone, I keep my head low, gaze to the floor as I push to a stand and make for the door leading into the studio so I can go upstairs—my only exit. My path is clear, until a black pair of Converse appear out of nowhere, blocking my way.
I lift my gaze to find my sister standing there, watching me with a nervous sort of hopefulness that baffles me as much as it infuriates me.
“Where are you going? We’re gonna watch Pirates of the Caribbean.”
“Already seen it.” With Mason, actually. In theaters back in May. Assuming it’s the most recent one. She must’ve found it online somewhere—burned it onto a disc—because it’s not yet out on DVD.
She waves her hand. “Well, yeah, but?—”
“I’m out,” I mutter, and go to step around her, when she jumps in my path again.
“What?” I explode harshly, and much too loudly.
Her eyes go big and round, mouth parting.
My chest heaves, lungs on fire, nostrils flaring.
She frowns, searching my face. “JJ, I… Are you…are you mad?”
I stare at her, right into those brown eyes, the twins to mine, and wonder how someone who claims to always know what I’m feeling and what I need can be so clueless.
“I kind of really hate you right now,” I tell her.
A hurt look overcomes her face, and she starts shaking her head, eyes reddening as they fill with tears. “J–”
“Izzy,” a voice barks.
My sister’s wet, wounded gaze darts just past me. I didn’t hear him approach.
“Let him go,” Mason says stiffly, and my own body tenses. It feels like everyone is staring, and I don’t dare look around to confirm it.
Now would be the perfect time for the earth to open up and swallow me.
Izzy looks from Mason to me, and says, “O-okay.”
Shaking my head, I shove past her, knocking her shoulder with mine, not bothering to be gentle about it either. I feel more than see her flinch, and can’t find it in me to feel bad.
She doesn’t call after me or try to stop me this time, and somehow I just know it’s because of Mason. I don’t know whether to be grateful or hurt by his dismissal.
Let him go.
Was he doing that for me…
Or for him, so he didn’t have to face me after that?
Did we just ruin everything?
Did I?
