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“I didn’t know for sure, but I had a feeling. It was too early to tell, when I lost him.”
Rose paused, and Luke supposed she was expecting another interruption. When none came and both Luke and Lenore just stared at her, she continued.
“You’re the only one I want to raise a family with. I love you. I hope you can understand why I didn’t exactly want to open with this last night.”
Silence followed her words. Yes, in theory, Luke understood that. He was glad that he was the only one she wanted to raise a family with, and he certainly felt the same way. He’d gone through a severe rough patch after losing her, a series of short-lived attempts at feeling something for someone else that had usually ended after one night, but she had never left his mind. His heart had always belonged to her, no matter how many times he’d tried to steal it back, to give it to someone else. No matter how much he hated himself for it, he’d never been able to imagine sharing his life with anyone but Rose.
But he couldn’t tell her that. Not right now. He was too hurt and confused and agitated, and he felt used. He knew rationally that that wasn’t what she was doing, but that didn’t mean he had to be happy with her at the moment.
“I need to… process,” he said at last.
“That’s fair,” Rose said quietly.
“If the two of you will excuse me.” Luke turned on his heel and strode out of the room. He walked down the hall and turned right at the third door, into the lounge. The fireplace was dormant, and the green leather armchairs and sofas were welcoming, as was the bar at one end of the room. It wasn’t even eleven in the morning yet, and Luke knew he shouldn’t be considering alcohol this early. He could hear his father’s voice at the back of his mind telling him that he needed to lay off the bourbon. His father was probably right, but sometimes, Luke needed something to take the edge off of the stress. His law career was demanding enough on its own, not counting the derisive looks he still sometimes received from judges and the opposing counsel. He’d spent three of the four years since Rose had left working on his Juris Doctor degree and all of them trying to prove that he was more than the son of a senator and a surgeon. He wanted people to know that he was capable on his own and that he was good at his job as an assistant state’s attorney. He planned to run for the head of his office at some point, but he’d heard enough whispers about that damned night back in his last year of undergrad to know his colleagues weren’t ready to respect him enough for that.
He moved to the bar and poured himself a glass of bourbon, and then he made his way over to the armchair beside the fireplace and sat. With a sigh, he lowered his head into his hand.
I’m not going to pretend I don’t want this with her. But now? People already look at me like I shouldn’t be in my office. One mistake and they act like I’m an embarrassment who only got the job because of Mom. What happens if this gets out, too? That the child isn’t mine?
He took a long drink from his glass and savored the burning of his throat. It was a distraction, at least.
“Luke, it’s not even noon.”
He didn’t look up at the sound of his sister’s judgmental tone. He shrugged. “Five o’clock somewhere, and all that.”
He heard the click of Lenore’s shoes as she moved closer, and she entered his line of vision when she dropped into the chair across from him. She watched him expectantly.
“What?” he asked.
“Do you really have to ask?”
“What would you do, if you were me?”
Lenore was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know. She really wants this to work with you. She loves you. Do you still love her?”
Luke’s grip on his glass tightened. He didn’t want to lie to his sister, but he also didn’t want to accept the feelings that had been clouding his mind and heart since Rose had turned up at his front door. He wanted nothing more than to let her stay, to pick up where they’d left off four years earlier. But what if she was hiding something else from him? Something somehow worse than the things she’d already told him? Would he ever be able to trust her fully, when she’d left him alone after one stupid mistake?
“I’ll take that as a yes,” said Lenore after a few beats of silence. “I’m not asking you to pretend everything is perfect, or that she didn’t hurt you. But I know she wants to make things right with you, and I know you want to be with her, whether you’re too stubborn to admit it or not.”
Luke squared his shoulders and took another drink.
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Lenore prodded.
“She could destroy me again.”
Lenore chewed her lip. “Is that a chance you’re willing to take?”
Luke stared into the fireplace. If he didn’t take the chance, he knew he might not get another one.
Chapter Six
Rose finished her pancakes with considerably less enthusiasm than she’d started them with. Luke’s anger with her had turned the food’s taste from perfection to something strange, something she shouldn’t be eating. She’d already felt bad enough about coming here. Just when she’d been starting to get comfortable, of course things had taken a downward turn.
I don’t know what I expected. I was going to tell him as soon as I figured out how to say it. But how did he find out? Was he just guessing? Bluffing? No… he was already upset when he got here. He had to have known.
She slid to her feet and carried her empty plate and fork to the sink, running water over them before putting them into the dishwasher. She wanted to start it, to do something to help out after Luke had worked so hard on the food, but there were no other dishes in the washer, so she decided she should probably ask him before wasting the cycle on one plate and fork.
She didn’t know what to do with herself. Lenore had told her she’d sent her a text before she’d left so that Rose could have her new phone number, but Rose’s phone was still where she’d left it the night before—in the glove compartment of her car. She had no desire to see how many missed calls and texts she had from Alex, her parents, and whoever else had heard what was going on. Even her sister probably knew by now. She knew checking her phone would only make her feel worse, and she wasn’t sure she could handle that, at the moment.
