Page 41 of Thorns


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***

Rain fell in a light mist as Rose walked toward the deli on the corner. She passed clusters of people waiting for signs to change so they could cross the street, and she wove through umbrellas that took up more than their share of the sidewalk.

She had an hour for lunch, and she hoped she wouldn’t need all of it, but that depended on the line for food. It could take anywhere from ten seconds to the entire hour and then some. She doubted Beatrice would be irritated if her break ran a bit long, but she wanted to get back into the swing of a normal workday, and she already felt guilty about taking a week and a half off. She didn’t want to push it.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out to find “Mom” emblazoned across the screen. Pulling in a deep breath and shifting to stand under the awning of a nearby comic shop, she answered the call.

“Hello?” Her voice came out even, mercifully not betraying her nerves.

“It’s a miracle. You actually answered.”

Rose closed her eyes and leaned back against the brick storefront. “I’ve been out of the country, Mom. I just got in last night. I was going to call.”

“Why were you out of the country?”

“Luke and I wanted to… we needed to get away for a little while.”

Her mother sighed. “So how much of it is true?”

Rose resisted the urge to respond sarcastically, if just barely. “If you mean what’s been in the media, it varies by the source. Yes, I’m pregnant. Yes, I’m back with Luke. Yes, he punched a reporter, but the guy had it coming.”

“Pregnant outside of marriage.”

She could almost hear her mother shaking her head.

“I thought you would’ve learned better than that after what your sister did.”

Heat flooded Rose’s cheeks, and she clenched the hand not holding her phone into a fist. Years of fearing what this woman thought of her and would do to punish her pulsed through her with every heartbeat. Years of resentment and longing for acceptance crashed over her, and she couldn’t hold back any longer.

“After you made me lose her for a while, you mean?” she snapped. “Morgan made a mistake, Mom. She wasn’t ready. But guess what? She has been an excellent mother, and I can promise you she’ll never treat Noah the way you’ve treated us.”

Silence.

“Your father and I have raised you to have values,” her mother said sharply. “Morgan threw all that out the window. You’re an adult, so it’s not like we can punish you, but—”

Rose laughed derisively. “You would’ve tried the first time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Guess what, Mom? I would’ve had a kid by now, too, if I hadn’t lost him. I got pregnant in college, and I was so scared of you finding out that I didn’t even tell Luke. I lost the baby, and I lost Luke because I handled everything wrong. I cared too much about what you thought, and guess what? I don’t care anymore.”

The only sounds on the other end of the phone were a bit of static and her mother’s breathing.

“You should’ve told us,” she said at last.

“Why? So you could ditch me like you ditched Morgan?”

“We were trying to teach your sister a lesson!” Her mother’s voice was exasperated, teetering on the verge of hysterical.

“What lesson? That you’d stop loving us if we disobeyed you?”

“We never stopped loving your sister.” With these words, her mother sounded pained for the first time Rose could remember when the subject of Morgan came up.

“You should tell her that, then. A few phone calls a year and seeing each other at Christmas doesn’t exactly make her feel like you love her. For God’s sake, you didn’t see your grandson for the first two years of his life.”

“And you don’t think I regret that every day?”

Rose watched the rain fall onto the sidewalk and the crowded street. People passed with their hoods raised, and she realized that the rain had picked up since she’d been under the awning. “I regret never being able to come to you,” she said. “I wish I could’ve had my parents on my side when I needed them the most.”

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