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I have no understanding of what he means.
“Help me?”
“There’s so much you don’t know. So much you need to know. But you don’t trust me right now. I get that. Let me give you some things you can use against me.” His words don’t make sense. They don’t fit into the puzzle I’ve created in my mind. “Ammunition. Something to balance our scale.”
“What?”
“I know your plans. I could use them, get you killed.” A sharp intake of panic. “You don’t trust me. And really, why should you? I need to earn that, tit for tat. I’m going to give you some information back. You tell anyone in the family this, it would get me killed, Delilah. Do you understand?” His hand moves to my jaw, holding it so I have no choice but to look into his eyes and see how serious he is.
“No,” I say, because I don’t understand.
But I do a moment later.
“Paulie and I are battling for Don. Carmine is old. It was supposed to be Tony, but of course, he’s out of commission. My father loves the battle, loves to pit people against each other for his entertainment. He’s also easily influenced, letting all the strunzos around him sway his decisions and take things too far. This family, it used to be good. Helped the community and bartered with the politicians to get things that could help. Now, it’s money. Now, it’s dark. It got my brother in prison and my mother killed. The danger of it . . . can be addictive, intoxicating. I could ignore that, move on from it, let it be. But now we’re edging toward federal charges. You get caught selling girls, you get the feds. Federal charges mean a future like Tony's. It’s too much risk, and the balance is off. It’s greed; it’s no longer about helping. It’s gone beyond making our families comfortable and well-off and moved toward unbearable wealth. And a hunger for more. If Paulie wins, shit will go bad. I don’t like where the family is headed. Things need to change. I can do that. You can do that. We can change it, Lilah.” His fingers tighten on my chin, but I can barely feel it. I'm utterly floored by his words and what he's revealing.
“I can help you get what you want. I can give you what you need to clean house, get your revenge, then rule with me. We can do it together.”
I continue to stare, both afraid to speak and unable to do so.
Words won’t form.
Thoughts won’t form.
“You hate it, too. Hate the greed, the corruption. I know it. That’s why you’re here.”
How have things changed so quickly? How have my worlds collided? How have I gotten so fucking deep with this man only to realize he’s quicksand that could suffocate me without a second glance?
The silence hangs between us as he stares at me and I process.
Clearly, he’s waiting for me to respond. It’s my turn to add to this insane conversation.
“I just want to settle my father’s debts and make sure he can’t do more,” I lie, my voice a whisper.
“No,” he says, that hand on my chin tightening. “You can lie to fucking everyone out there.” The hand on my waist moves, motioning to the outside. “You can lie to everyone but me. Never me, Lilah.”
That burns.
That stings.
All he’s ever done is lie to me.
“Oh, like you lied to me?”
“Never lied, Delilah. Tell me one fucking lie I’ve told you.”
“Your fucking name,” I say, giving the most obvious answer.
“Explained that. It wasn’t a lie.”
“An omission is still lie, Dante.”
“Okay, then I lied. But this? You know I’m not lying about this. Your plans are bigger than this, Lilah. I know that; you know that. But when you started here, I saw you, knew you were mine. Knew who you were, why you were here. That you were here to take down the family. And I didn’t care. I needed you more. You were mine, and I needed you to know it too. But you’d already made a deal with the devil, a deal with Paulie.”
“So? So you, what? You had to fuck around, change my job, fuck me at night, keep me a secret?”
“There is a lot of shit going on in my family right now. Shit I will tell you when it’s safe.”
“I just escaped a lifetime of family secrets, Dante. I can’t do more.” He sighs.
