Page 121 of All My Love


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She waves her hands like it’smyfault. “No, all I got was you accusing me of being a shit mother and your sister always falling short. You, leaving to be with a fucking rockstar, spitting in my face every chance you could get as a kid. What choice did I have, Stella? How could I love you when you were my biggest disappointment?”

The door creaks open, but I barely notice as I stare at my mother, trying to understand. But I know I never will.

It’s impossible.

“Hey, Stell,” my dad says with a bright smile, walking into the house. His smile melts off before anyone can say anything, reading the vibe of the room. “What’s going on?—”

“I’m done with you,” I whisper.

“Excuse me?” My mother asks.

“I’m done trying to please you. I’m done being what you want me to be. I’m done caring. I’m done giving you power.” I shake my head. “A mother is supposed to love her children and put them first. I don’t know what happened to you to make you this bitter, this vile, this selfish, but I’m sorry. I am. I’m sorry that someone turned you intothis, sorry you let it happen, but I won’t be letting that happen to me. I was almost a shell of a person because of you, and I won’t be risking that again.” I turn away from her to look at my father, whose face is confused and conflicted.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I love you so much, but I can’t be around her anymore. She’s dead to me. You’re not innocent in this, in letting her be this way, letting her treat us like this, but you’re not the villain. You don’t have to choose me; I’m okay with that. But I’m begging you to keep Evie safe from her. She will do anything to make her love her, and you and I? We both know there’s no way she can love anyone but herself. I don’t know why you stayed so long, but that’s your business. I’m done.”

He opens his mouth, and my mother says my name, but I don’t listen.

Instead, I squeeze Riggins’ hand and walk out the door forever.

I don’t cry when we drive back to my house,ourhouse.

No, instead, for the first time in my life, I am completely free.

Riggins

"I love you," Stella whispers hours later in the dark. She didn't cry when we left her mother's. She didn't even want to rehash it; she just looked at me and saidI'm done with her.

I was proud. So fucking proud because this is what I always thought she had to do. But seeing her do it, seeing her do it with confidence and without fear, was fucking beautiful.

"Love you more," I tell her. She giggles, the noise filling the room.

"That's my line." I shake my head, something she feels more than sees, and her head picks up.

"No, you don't get it. I love you more. I love you more than my career. I love you more than songs. I used to say the bass of a good song was my heartbeat, but that's not true. My heartbeat is your heartbeat; you were gone for seven years, and I didn't feel it once. Not once, Stella."

Silence fills the room and she shifts over me, putting a hand on each side of my face and staring into my eyes. Long moments pass before finally, she whispers. "No one."

"What?" I ask, confused and a bit concerned.

"No one," she repeats.

I wrap an arm around her waist, holding her close and the other moving to brush her hair back.

I don't understand.

"No one has ever loved me more."

"Stella—" I try to say, but she cuts me off.

"No one has ever loved me more, Riggins. There's always been something, someone above me."

"Never again," he whispers in my hair. "I'll always love you more. You've got all my love and more forever."

"I love you," Stella whispers hours later in the dark. She didn't cry when we left her mother's. She didn't even want to rehash it; she just looked at me and saidI'm done with her.

I was proud. So fucking proud because this is what I always thought she had to do. But seeing her do it, seeing her do it with confidence and without fear, was fucking beautiful.

"Love you more," I tell her. She giggles, the noise filling the room.

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