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I’m terrified to get to know the version of Stella I’ve never met, but it’s time. If she won’t tell me herself what happened over the years, I’ll let her music do it.
18 YOU’RE GONNA GO FAR
NOW
STELLA
“Over easy, right Mrs. Marcuso?”
“You’ve got it, sweetie! You’ve got a great memory.” I don’t tell her my memory had very little to do with it since she’s been coming in every morning since I was 20 and ordering the same thing.
Turning toward the kitchen to give Frank my order, I stop short, watching Amelia get increasingly flustered at the man standing in front of her despite this not being his first time in the diner. He points at me and smiles wide. I roll my eyes, walking over to him.
“Stella Bella!” he says, using the old nickname, and then pulls me into a big bear hug. Reed always gave the best hugs, and with everything going on, I really need one. Badly.
It’s been four days since Riggins last came to the diner, four days since I asked him to leave in a fit of anger.
It has been four days since I spoke to him.
Funny how you can go years without seeing someone, they come back into your life for a few weeks, and suddenly you feel that loss all over, like it’s fresh and painful.
“What are you doing here?” I ask when I pull back from the hug.
“Why do you think I’m here?” he asks reasonably. I make a face without my brain’s permission, and he laughs before his face goes serious. I know he’s here because of Riggins, but I also have to wonder in what respect? Is it because Riggins sent him here, or maybe because he’s worried about him? Is he spiraling?
“Come on. Eat lunch with me,” Reed says, genuine hope on his face. “It’ll be like old times.”
“I’m working,” I say, even though a part of me wants to say yes so, so badly.
I miss him. I miss my old life, a version of me that I’ve packed away tightly, but I’ve slowly been picking at the tape and keeping it shut this past week. It’s been nice having them back in my life, but it also feels like opening a door that needs to stay shut to keep what's left of me safe.
“You have your break coming up, Stell. It’s slow now. You totally can slink off for an hour or two, and we’ll be fine,” Amelia says. I turn to my employee and glare, but she’s so starstruck, it bounces right off of her.
“See! You’ll be fine! Come get lunch with me, tell me all about your life since I last saw you.”
That sounds about as enjoyable as having my eyelashes plucked out one by one. Can’t wait to tell the guys who have been touring the world and going to awards shows and living their dream that I’m stuck in the hometown we all swore we’d leave, working in the diner my mother owns and as lonely as humanly possible.
I shake my head.
“Actually, you have to leave. If my mom finds out you’re here, she’s going to freak.” She hasn’t been in since that call despite her threats of needing to get my divorce rolling by Friday, but I know round two of that argument is lying in wait.
Reed looks momentarily confused.
“The Stella I knew didn’t care about what your shit of a mother thought,” Reed accuses, and if it were anyone else, I’d be mad, but he says it with his signature smirk and goofy boy face; I can’t be mad.
“Yeah, well, now she pays my bills,” I say, lying just a bit, but what does it even matter anymore? “And considering Riggins is back in town, I’m already walking on eggshells, waiting for her to find out he’s been coming in here after he punched Parker.”
“Let me guess, she has no idea?” Reed asks, that same cocky smile tugging at his lips. I shake my head. “Would be a shame if everyone in this place finds out you’re ma—“ I slap my hand over his mouth, and he laughs the deep, loud laugh that used to wake me up in the middle of the night under my hand. He was never able to hide his laugh, make it quieter even when he tried his hardest.
“I’ll go,” I whisper, then say louder, my hand still on his face, to Amelia. “I’ll be back, an hour tops.”
“Two!” Reed says with a wide smile.
I roll my eyes and ignore Amelia’s,take as long as you need!before I let Reed lead me out the front door.
Lunch is on the outskirts of town at a burger joint we all used to go to way too late at night. I haven’t been here since I came home; the memories are too sharp, but when I walk in, the smell alone brings them in on a wave.
Good memories.
